SD...I agree with Jeff. In many ways, I have come to learn that trust is more important than 'love' as we mature in our M's. Once that foundation is cracked, I don't think anyone will ever truly feel safe anymore.

Certainly, there are many people who can work this out and use it to grow...but....we are all human with tender parts. I think, like losing a loved one, you never really forget...you just learn how to live with the loss.

I am a bit jaded right now...as you know....but, being a 'scientist', I tend to look at numbers and try to come up with answers. I'm sure Jeff understands this being an engineer. It is not easy now, for me, to avoid all those horrible cliche's about cheaters. I'm trying to move on, but then again, my W didn't make a try for it as your H has. This is something you must look at from your heart. There are basic questions that one should always ask oneself. As a doc, I now realize that I will always need to be in touch with my next R...a surveillance checkup. PLEASE...don't infer that I am saying do something against that which you've fought hard to save, but, you should always be happy. I think when the scale begins to slip from that...to....insecurity...well...perhaps at that time, re-evaluation is necessary.

Looks like you just came off of a great trip. Process it and enjoy those moments. A New Earth says that true happiness comes from 'being in life at the moment'.

Be in the moment.

Hugs. FIB

Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11)
Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t
Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10
Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;