Always looking for the best lane on the high road and trying not to rock the boat. Glad to see you trying to find balance in the turmoil. As for TJ, we know he will have his regrets. Poor poor MLCers have been convinced, or convinced themselves they should have nothing less than some kind of magic light bulb moment of a life from here on out. Well, good luck to them all and best wishes. Sad part is, it is right there in front of them except they are so unhappy with themselves, they can't feel the magic; probably never will.
As for you ... patience has always served you well, no reason to change now unless he does something to trigger a call to action. You will want to always be at peace with your last decisions in these matters. Wait for him to make the first mistake. Let him deny the agreement you were both willing to live with. Sounds like Plan-A was ok before and he should be happy to leave it at that.
Have a plan-b ready with your L. Think of the things that would go badly for TJ and limit plan-b to include a few of the least damaging. See if that wakes him up. Be ready to let him know you never really wanted anything beyond plan-a, and he may relent.
If he lashes out, and MLCers do ... don't set your L loose with plan-c immediately. Try to let TJ know it only gets worse. If time comes for plan-c, it should probably be full scale nuclear L confrontation ... no holds barred. At that point there won't be much friendship left on the table. One of you, or both will be ready to walk away for good with no further contact at that point. I hope it never comes to that.
Praying for peace to reign and each of you to find a steady light to follow in this time of loss.
You know the rule ... live the better life. Live a life you can love, love yourself ... and the whole world will too.
Keeping the stage clean, the pole warm, and hugs in place ... (((Hooolly)))
