Hey Julia...just stopping in to say hi and see how things are going, but it looks like you are starting to make a little progress eh???
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
You know Lola, you are right. It wasn't the progress I expected to make in terms of sorting out the financial stuff it was an altogether different type of progress. It kind of says to me that I have to have flexible planning. We are ok on the bank account for 2 weeks so that can wait a while.
So just to journal today - it helps me get it clear in my mind I have listed the positives in green.
H sent a text at 9.30 saying sorry to be really awkward but would it be possible to meet at 11.30 as he was covering for his boss and had been called to a meeting. He let me know as soon as possible, suggested an alternate time, acknowleged that he was messing me around a bit but gave an explanation.
I heard the phone go but as I was talking to someone didn't check it and forgot I had a message. He sent a follow up email later on. He has never done that before! He made sure I got the message so wouldn't make an unessary journey and showed consideration.
I phoned to say I hadn't got the message, was a bit messy over the phone so followed with a text about an hour later saying no worries about changing the time, sorry for not picking up the message. I had a meeting between 5-6 tonight but could do any time other than then but if he can't then we'll just arrange another time. Hoped his meeting went well.
I got a message at 5pm saying 'Hi I'm really sorry but I'm only just finishing up here. Sorry to mess you around. I'm pretty hectic for the rest of the week but can we do something next week instead? Sorry to be such a pain' This is a really nice message and is a bit looser than the others, the politeness is filtering out a bit and there is some familiarity.
I replied saying thanks for letting me know, it's not a problem. It actually isn't because he let me know and made an effort, had he not it would have been a major problem. This is down to everyone here helping me not to react when he was treating me that way. THANK YOU!!Then we had the convo about his boss.
Also an interesting thing was when we were arranging the meeting I asked him where his new office was to meet him and he said 'we're still in...'. It's the use of the we that implies to me a kind of marriage between him and work which is how I have felt this whole time, like I have had to compete with it. I kind of figure now that I need to be the ow to his work. If that makes any sense lol!! So, all in all I think this was a baby step. I must try and carry on being patient I think.
Oh, the only other thing (sorry!!) is that he said he hoped would have a nice weekend - I take it he isn't coming up to do the house. Glad my DB coach told me not to focus on this! I'm not annoyed he isn't coming at all and am not reading anything into it, it is just limboland again which is hard. My focus is to sort out this financial thing first though.
wow- look at your SOLUTION journal. so awesome to see the steps he has taken and you have made this possible! i am very happy for you. you are really taking everything in stride!
Pisces M 31 H 32 M 7 yrs S 5/10 Beginning Contact! Vibes Hot Tub Cheese
I am very happy for you too!! I think that equally important as his baby steps are the fact that you are able to step back and notice them is huge too. It is very easy to overlook these sometimes. You could have been mad at being blown off instead you saw that he was indeed being respectful and nice to you he just could not make the meeting work out. Great Progress from both of you!!
Me 27, W26 T-12 M-4 SEP 4/29/08 Holding 250 miles Awaiting Support Current
Thanks TD that means a lot. Now I have had that interaction I am chomping at the bit for more but I think his last text that said 'hope you have a good weekend' was a clear indication that the convo was over. I am learning not to push him.
Although I have so much to share with him that I am excited about - a funny thing I read in a magazine and the thing I am most excited about is that I am getting a niece (I have two nephews and have always wanted a niece). It is especially exciting as it is my brothers first child and they have been trying for 7 years!! They have been through a lot of heartbreak with it all.
On the H front I am holding back, that news can wait till our meeting - if it ever happens lol! But yay for the niece news, I am so excited and thrilled for them!
Sounds like a nice new focus....it is always nice to have a cool Aunt! We used to spoil our Neices.....now our youngest Neice is spoiling our children. She has watched them for the summer and has done an outstanding job
TwinDad Me 39, W 36, M 11 W - MLC, WAW???? 2 Kids B/G 3 YRS Old Start of the Long and Bumpy Road..... On the verge of piecing.....a new beginning
I have listed the positives in green.