Like many on here, I have given much thought to the GAL concept and what could I do. I have had some success with adjusting my mindset, but with small kids, I do feel guilty going off and doing something that is just for me.
One thing I have thought about is losing some weight. I believe part of the reason my wife is not as sexual as I would like her to be is that she would like to lose some weight, probably 15-20 pounds. I am right now 15-20 pounds over my ideal weight (the weight I was at 6 years ago when I did my last triathlon). I am 6'3" so going from 200 up to 215-220 is not like I feel like I am grossly out of shape, but yet, I would feel better about myself, I would be healthier, my clothes would fit better, and, as an added kicker, my wife might be more attracted to me physically if I would get back to 200.
While I know how to lose this weight, I just haven't been able to make a disciplined effort and I think part of it is because of our SSM. At the end of the day, when I am not getting affection (not just sex, but affection and focus) from my wife, I find something else to do, usually on the computer or tv. Part of this habit involves my love of a bowl of ice cream in the evening, and can involve a beer or glass of wine or two. Finally, I get tired by 10:30-11 and go to bed, extra calories and all. Because I stay up later, this frequently means I don't feel like working out at 5:30 am, which is generally the only time of the day I can, and I get a double whammy towards my gut.
Hence, my theory that the SSM is linked.
Part of the issue, and hang with me because this is where I am going with this, is that I have no one to hold me accountable. My wife won't because these habits keep pressure off of her and I don't have anyone else trying to lose weight to pair up with.
It seems to me that there are others on this board that may have this same weight loss/ssm/gal linkage and might want to do something about it. If so, I would like to hear from you and thought that one or more of you might want to set a goal and journal here towards it. I know for me, even though no one here knows who I am, just having to journal (thanks for the inspiration Ali) my days activities and achievements would help hold my feet to the fire.
What do you think? Anyone want to join in?
CB
Me; 42, W; 43 M; 16 yrs S12, D9
3/13 - "I want to move to XYZ City (four hours away) and it might be without you, not sure" 5/13 - "Not sure I meant that"
