Love is Patient

[ba065]

Yoyo...I think you are right. I am trying really hard to be H's friend....it's hard...not because I want my H back...I don't want to settle on being friends! But for now, trying to make the times we are together good ones....and keeping my down times to myself.

H is really having a hard time being away. Yesterday I didn't hear from H until 8:30 pm. Then he asked if he could come over. I kept my conversation short and to the point, but told him he was always welcome to come by as long as he called first. He got there in 10 minutes...looks pretty rough...tired, not sleeping...said he misses me...this isn't how he thought it would be. Had scrambled eggs for supper. He hates being at the townhouse...it's lonely. Being there alone is making him realize things he didn't see before.

Said he misses me again....I responded with.. Really? I thought you resented me and thought I was controlling you? He stated that those were things he thought were issues, but now he is thinking that it wasn't the case.

He thinks he needs to stay at the townhouse for awhile as a punishment. He says he needs to suffer to learn a lesson. I asked him what lesson? He said he needs to learn that he should be happy with what he has...and that things weren't really as bad as he thought they were. He needs to appreciate life and those around him who love and support him.

He said sleeping alone wasn't an issue for him...afterall he's been sleeping in a separate room for months. But waking up alone...and realizing he's alone in the house during the "awake" hours is really hard. He thinks it's too quiet. Told him it was quiet at our house too...told him I didn't like sleeping alone or waking up alone...but he knows that. Should have kept quiet.

He stayed about an hour and went back to the townhouse to go to bed. He called at 10:30 to say good night...ILY.

He called again this morning at 6:15...ILY have a good day...I will check in with you later....he only slept 4 hours....sounds down.

I only slept 2 hours...but tried to sound chipper and upbeat. Dressed to break hearts when I left for work...not rushing home after work...taking my time.

BA