My Husband was one of the MLC'ers who came home. My old threads are in the MLC archives.
He has been home now for about 16 months and we are a work in progress.
His Dad died in 2002 and my Husband changed overnight. I had no clue as to what MLC was and thought his strange behavior was part of the grieving process.
He began to work out, lost weight, dressed differently and had a major personality change. His "new" friends were half his age and they hung out together.
In September 2003 he received an email from an old High school girl friend and that began a major course of events. So many secrets, and trips to see his Mother, 3000 miles away, 10 minutes from where his "friend" lived. He began to complain about me, my appearance, our lifestyle, the list goes on. He was very dissatisfied with our Marriage.
In September 2004 he gave me the ILYBNILWY speech but he was also very attentive and we seemed to be making some progress. We were talking more but he had become an expert at covering his tracks and telling lies.
December 2004 he decided he needed to Divorce me and move out and get his own life on track. He moved 3000 miles away to start his new life. During the time he was away he saw the kids for a total of 12 days.
April 2007 He moved back home.
Peacetoday, to be truthful, the piecing in some ways was harder then the MLC. I had become used to living on my own. I had a routine. I had a budget. I didn't have to share the closet with anyone. It was peaceful.
I had learned how to detach, and had to learn to reattach again. And my patience was tested all of the time.
Yes, there are some happy endings in various threads here, but it is more important for you to consider yourself a success regardless of whether or not your Husband returns home.
Work on yourself, your own issues. Work on forgiving and letting go. Don't worry about what he is doing or where on the timeline he is or what stage he is in. It doesn't mean anything.
(((((hugs)))))
There can be no testimony without a test. I am praying to go through this test and come out the other end with a new and better marriage then before.
