Hi All - Ive been on this site for a while now. Started out like a lot of people in denial about the affair because she swore to my face nothings going on. Well a year and half later find out she was lying the whole time. Ofcrse I didnt hear it from her she still has the nerve to deny to my face. I have reached a point where it I tell myslf that it doesnt matter but it sure matters when Im lying in bed thinking about what we used to have and how she took it all away. She filed for D a year ago we have joint physical custody worked out but still are figuring out our assets and finances. We have been trying to sell our house in this horrible market and finally accepted an offer and close in Sept. Knock on wood, its contingent on the ppl selling theres. Anyway, the reason Im writing this besides a forum to vent, is to ask you experienced DBers recovering from infidelity. how do you let go? How do you let go of the pain, of the hurt, of the resentment, of the wondering of what could have been and what could be? How could I still want to be with this person that did this? We were together 12 yrs had a child together. I guess its understandable. She wants to be friends. She wants be to accept and understand what she did. Which I would understnd better if I was a jerk or awhole like a lot of guys are like out there and deserve it. BUt not me. DOnt get me wrong. I have my issues but nothing that deserved this. I have been working on myslf. Becoming aware of my strengths and weaknesses. But yet I still cant help but going back to what she did is wrong. Not telling me how she was feeling was wrong. Not choosing divorce as the last option instead of the first was wrong. Not really thinking about our daughters future of growing up in 2 houses was wrong. I do get better everyday, but it still hurts like hell. I dont know how ppl can throw it all away thinking the grass is greener. I do know the next time around I will find someone that has the same value system as I do.
