You know Lola, you are right. It wasn't the progress I expected to make in terms of sorting out the financial stuff it was an altogether different type of progress. It kind of says to me that I have to have flexible planning. We are ok on the bank account for 2 weeks so that can wait a while.
So just to journal today - it helps me get it clear in my mind I have listed the positives in green.
H sent a text at 9.30 saying sorry to be really awkward but would it be possible to meet at 11.30 as he was covering for his boss and had been called to a meeting. He let me know as soon as possible, suggested an alternate time, acknowleged that he was messing me around a bit but gave an explanation.
I heard the phone go but as I was talking to someone didn't check it and forgot I had a message. He sent a follow up email later on. He has never done that before! He made sure I got the message so wouldn't make an unessary journey and showed consideration.
I phoned to say I hadn't got the message, was a bit messy over the phone so followed with a text about an hour later saying no worries about changing the time, sorry for not picking up the message. I had a meeting between 5-6 tonight but could do any time other than then but if he can't then we'll just arrange another time. Hoped his meeting went well.
I got a message at 5pm saying 'Hi I'm really sorry but I'm only just finishing up here. Sorry to mess you around. I'm pretty hectic for the rest of the week but can we do something next week instead? Sorry to be such a pain' This is a really nice message and is a bit looser than the others, the politeness is filtering out a bit and there is some familiarity.
I replied saying thanks for letting me know, it's not a problem. It actually isn't because he let me know and made an effort, had he not it would have been a major problem. This is down to everyone here helping me not to react when he was treating me that way. THANK YOU!!Then we had the convo about his boss.
Also an interesting thing was when we were arranging the meeting I asked him where his new office was to meet him and he said 'we're still in...'. It's the use of the we that implies to me a kind of marriage between him and work which is how I have felt this whole time, like I have had to compete with it. I kind of figure now that I need to be the ow to his work. If that makes any sense lol!! So, all in all I think this was a baby step. I must try and carry on being patient I think.
Oh, the only other thing (sorry!!) is that he said he hoped would have a nice weekend - I take it he isn't coming up to do the house. Glad my DB coach told me not to focus on this! I'm not annoyed he isn't coming at all and am not reading anything into it, it is just limboland again which is hard. My focus is to sort out this financial thing first though.
I have listed the positives in green.