IRMAT, If your Husband is in MLC you are going to be riding on this rollercoaster for a very long time. You do not seem to understand that MLC'ers are extremely bad with money and spend like there is no tomorrow. And yet they claim they are broke.
I would never encourage anyone to file for a Divorce but seeing an attorney and finding out your rights is not telling your Husband anything. You do not need his permission to see one and you do not have to tell him. The Attorney is not going to tell anyone that you saw him.
IRMAT, I understand where you are coming from and I know you want to stand for your Marriage. You can be as cunning as a serpant and as gentle as a dove. You have to find your balance.
I did not file for a Divorce when my Husband was gone but I did contact an Attorney so that I could be prepared for the worst. IRMAT you need to stop being afraid and start being proactive.
I am sorry you are going through such a hard time, but sitting back and doing nothing to protect yourself financially is going way beyond submissive. Your Husband does not care if you are standing or not right now or how much you love him.
You need to understand that even though you have a lot of support on this board for your stand you also need to start supporting yourself and that means standing up for yourself.
There can be no testimony without a test. I am praying to go through this test and come out the other end with a new and better marriage then before.
