problems.....don't amount to a hill of beans......

[faithisbelieving]

Jeff...ford....thanks. I agree. Indulge me if you will...one last time....to 'close out' they why's.....no more after this. There really isn't much to publish here except the day to day goings on in the life of a dead marriage (yawn)...and the Perry Mason action that occurs every month and a half or so.

Intersections with 'theory' will be highlighted.

The Demise of My Marriage

I married my W in 1999. Like many of us, she had issues growing up (don't we all?). We had the same meeting as all here...romantic, intimate and my W pursued the marriage and commitment. "I'm not moving in unless I have a ring on my finger" My W DID give a lot.....she converted her religion and gave up celebrating Xmas in our house. She gave me two children and she was very sick during the first and went thru it a second time for our daughter. They say that women who 'give-more-than-they-receive' have a tendency to cheat and divorce their H's.

About 4 years into our M, my W began to withdraw. I noticed this but didn't see it as a signal. She had to give even more to work in my office to help keep overhead down. There began to be an imbalance in the marriage. She had to help keep things afloat. As my profession began to go downhill and income plummeted, we were not able to do things we always thought we could....decorate the house, go on vacations. In fact, my W at one point blamed me for losing time in my office and missing D5 grow up. Like some women in this group, I shattered her dreams. Marriage was NOT what she thought it would be and probably, the sacrifice of her fidelity and independence were becoming, to her, not worth being shackled to her H and M.

As described in DB and the pdf, my W began to emotionally subtract herself from the marriage and probably knew, long ago, that she was going to punch out of the marriage. She decided to go back to school to prepare for living in the real world. At school, she met John, pre-bomb, who was able to push the right buttons and reawaken what she thought was dead. According to her story, she gave him her number, he never called...our close friend died of cancer at age 36 and then my W 'broke'.

My W once told me, that, the fact that she developed feelings for this man "told me that there was something wrong with our M. It shouldn't have happened." She put tremendous emphasis and meaning into this.

Finally, I was bombed in May '06. Little did I know that, my W, gave me the ENTIRE ANSWER TO WHAT WAS GOING ON WITH HER AND OUR MARRIAGE WHEN SHE SAID THE FOLLOWING:

I love you but I want the romance back

In essence, my W had told me on that day: FIB, I love you as a man and as a father....you're a good person..but I lost my sexual desire for you and I want to have that feeling..that high...back.

It's so clear now. It's not MLC. It's not disease. It's not depression. It's so clear.
Will continue.
FIB