Hi peace- How are you doing? I can understand your cycling with pain and frustration. You have had to deal with so much and your H has left you to be the parent while he is just someone who visits the kids several times a week.
Keep doing what you are doing. Move forward with your life and if you want to have hope, I believe you can...but it can't be your focus. Your H is lost...he is miserable...and only he can help himself. I believe your H knows you still love him so if he can his way home, he will. So, you have no choice but to live your life and be happy regardless of what your H does.
I know you will find a way to keep your PMA going...you are so good at focusing on the positives. Good things will come to you.
