Memories keep sneaking in....I still miss him!

[Treese]

Di....I asked those questions.....about the OW....don't do it...it will tear you apart..unless you're ready to hear the answers....and you're probably not....I still hate some of the answers H gives me....although I have really learned not to ask...because I can read him now and I know what he will say...
And my H does the same things...he takes son bowling, and to play baseball....to the movies, etc....all of it....he knows I don't have the time to take son to all these places so sometimes I think he uses it against me....but then I think....that's all H has....my girls don't speak to him at ALL.....not even hello anymore....how sad is that...

Ok, now all you longtimers.....here it goes....as you all know my H has a "love child" that I just found out about in March...he is going to be 7 or 8...I don't even know....his birthday is next Tues...mine is Wed...isn't that nice....I will be gone with my mom for 3 days because I just didn't want to be here on that day...at least not now...my emotions will just be a mess....anyway....then my H wants to take my son to some gathering next Saturday...which is fine but his other son's mother works with my H (that's how they got together)...she will be there too...I'm sure with her son...I think my H is taking my son to "accidently" run in to them....to introduce my son to him...I absolutely DO NOT want that to happen unless I am there with my son....I don't think it would be right to throw that in my sons face....he's only 11 and he will not know how to handle that....I will be so angry if that happens...what can I say to H to let him know that this can't happen....not until we can discuss it as a family....you can't throw a child whom we did not know about for 8 years in our face and expect us to open our loving arms....it will take time...heck it's only been a few months since I found out....my life is so very complicated....sometimes I think I'm really going crazy....
so there you have it....please give me some advice on this....

Treese