HEY! Mishka! You are fantastic! You just need to work on letting others see it!
You have things you want to do differently? Well, this seems like a great opportunity to do it! Break out of your mold, if you don't like it! We'll all be here to help you, and encourage you, whatever it takes. You can do it!
I was at an offsite meeting (I didn't melt by the way!) all morning and my son was sick in the bed and my mom was at dialysis. Last night I had sent H a text telling him that s13 was sick and wouldn't be going to karate that night. He asked if he could come over this morning to check on him since no one would be home with him. That was just fine with me and frankly a relief. I hate to leave s13 alone when he's sick. I was on my way back from my meeting and called my son to check on him. He told me that STBXH had come over and fixed him some ramen noodles and that he was still queasy but a little better. Right after I hung up with him I got a text from STBX saying the same thing s13 had just told me. I told him thanks and that was it. He then told me that he had mowed my lawn and edged it. Funny thing about that is that when I backed out of the driveway this morning and saw how long the grass was I was thinking that I wished STBX would mow it because I wasn't going to have time until this weekend some time and it's too awful hot to do it. I did respond to STBX and tell him thanks for doing that and that I had to admit that I secretly had wished that he would take care of the lawn but that I was perfectly prepared to handle it this weekend. He said that was funny and I was welcome and the he enjoys doing it and knows how hard it is for me.
So, even after I completely blew up at him on Friday night and called him and OW every awful name in the book he still did this for me without me asking him. Weird, but nice.
Ok, rambling again. I'll stop.
Ya'll have a good night. I'm hopefully going to get some sleep.
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
Oh my!!! Mishka, the Fantastic? Gee Jeff! You know how to make girl's head spin, don't ya?
Good morning! Going to be nasty hot here today. 96 degrees with 70% humidity. The hair is going up in a clip and the clothes are going to be the lightest weight I can get away with in my office.
Calling my L today to make some adjustments to the settlement agreement and when that is done she'll contact STBX to set up a meeting to go over it. If he agrees, we're done. If not, he will have to suck it up and either get a L himself or try to make the adjustments himself. YUCK! I hate all of this.
I'm just hoping that I will find a way to financially survive. It's really hard and I have not been able to get my new business moving yet. Haven't given up on it at all, just stagnate right now.
Have to get dressed for work - YUCK!
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
A raise? I just got one after a 4 year hiatus on raises. Very minor amount and not enough to cover my insurance costs let alone the increases in the cost of living. That's a hopeless cause.
I'm going to plug along. I'll find a way. I think it's funny that I can't even get a part-time job at Wally World because I'm not 100% available. I gave them my availability as every evening M-F 7p-1am, all day Saturday, and after 1pm on Sunday. That wasn't enough even though they would only guarantee 10 hours per week. Huh?????? How dumb is that?
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
I have also had problems with part-time jobs because of having another job. Isn't that dumb? I guess you just have to find someplace that really wants people for evenings/weekends - which retail USUALLY is...but whatever lol.
(((Mishka)))
Michelle - Proud DR Rockette S: 28JUL07, D'd: 29OCT09 http://tinyurl.com/27j9qo2
Yeah, that's why I tried retail and our Wal-Mart is 24/7 so shouldn't have been a problem. Whatever!
I never got a chance today to call my L. I'll have to do it tomorrow. I'll just be Scarlett for now.....tomorrow is another day.
I've been reading an interesting book and I think it would be really helpful for everyone her the Surviving board (those of us who have truly let our M's go - not those still hoping to DB their spouses out of this). It's titled "Finding the Right One After Divorce" by Edward Tauber and Jim Smoke. Not that I'm looking for one, let alone the right one. It's subtitle was avoiding the 13 common mistakes people make in remarriage. I truly have no desire to get into any other R in the near or even distant future but the book points out the warning signs that you are falling into a trap of your own making due to your insecurities or due to not healing properly from your D. Really good read with lots of great insights to tuck away in the back of the brain for future reference.
I'm a little aggravated with STBX right at the moment but I'm probably just being stupid. Not a big deal but I know he was off work tonight. He normally would have asked if I needed him to take s13 to karate but he didn't today and I won't contact him to offer. I looked at s13's texts when we got back and STBX had sent him a text asking him if I was taking him. My son told him he didn't know. STBX told him to find out and let him know. s13 never told him and he never contacted me about it. Why? Did he not want to be with him or did he not want to talk to me about it? Oh well, doesn't matter.
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
Mishka-- Don't expect ANYthing from him. Then, when something comes along like the lawn mowing, you will be pleasantly surprised. The R between S and stbx must be just that--THEIR relationship, to work out. Snooping will only bring you more pain as you witness things you can't control. If you wanted him to give S a ride, you should have texted him yourself. Its not only to be easier for you--it is also for him to remain a responsible, involved parent. Keep it very simple and business-like: h, can you take S to TKD today?
Classes-ideas: Check the local library for some. Also, local craft stores often have one-time classes. Home Depot has workshops on do-it-yourself projects (power tools are AWESOME!). Look online; youtube and other sites offer free classes on almost anything. Get some workout dvd's free from the library and do them at home--son may even join in.
Mom-care: Check with the local VNA and Senior Center to see if they have caregiver respite services. It may only be once or twice a month, but let's you get out guilt-free. Set her up with a phone-date with other family and friends, dial it for her and run! Set son up with a tape-recorder and box of old photos to get all of those life-stories down (while you go get a pedicure). Ask the Senior Center if there is a home-bound or other lonely elder in the community who needs a companion--tell her that they need her help, set her up to call that person. If you are members of the church, maybe the clergy would stop over once or twice a month to visit.
Take care of you--you are VERY important to quite a few people, not the least, your son!
I lost you but have now found you. I read what happened last week and I am really sorry. I wanted to stop by and say that I think you are a great person, you are kind, strong and so generous. Those are just the qualities I have seen from you posts so you must be extra fabulous in real life!
