Regretful and losing hope

[onedge]

She just told me that she hates me I am prepared for a long hard road to get back what I have lost, she is worth it, and I wont give up.
Honestly the last 3 years well, for year or so, has been hard, we'd been living with my W's parents which was really stressful, and then we moved out late last year. She had feeling for other guys and I don't know why, she would get upset everytime I brought it up. She wanted me to understand the depression more, everytime i found out things about it, i would talk to her about it, and she would either say "i already know about depression you don't need to tell me" or "everyones depression is different, what helped other people might not help me", without actually listening to me or trying to get better. She is very hard to talk to a lot of the time because she has a way of making me believe that either I'm wrong, or at fault or she would just get upset, and I would stop trying. I haven't been the perfect guy, I admit it, I was guilty of not communicating, but when i tried to tell her that, she denied the problem and said there is no issue in our communication.
I needed to put more focus on her and the kids, and I needed to help more around the house. I know that I have a lot to change and although a "magic bullet" would be great, I know its not going to happen. My wife currently hates me, and she might forgive me sometime, but she wont believe anything that I say. I am not one to ever pretend that there is nothing that I need to change. I need to change me almost completely. . The book wont be here for another 6 weeks, so for now I'm almost on my own. Right now I am at my worst and I don't even know where to start.

By the way, I am 22 years old, and yeah, i am prepared to do this for as long as it takes, or until it tears me apart, whichever comes first