Memories keep sneaking in....I still miss him!

[ddstartingover]

Last night D15 asked me if I would get her some make-up to leave at H's house............I thought for a minute and said yes, but that I wanted them all to know (all three were there) that I still hope that this situation is not "forever." I told them that I very much wanted H to move back home, that it would be best for all of us-----------and then I threw in a "unless you like the way things are now..........." No response.

Later D15 called and said they had just gone bowling and were on their way "home." I wanted to scream----it's not YOUR HOME, but I didn't. S9 got on the phone and said he missed me----really, really missed me. I'm pretty sure that was for H's benefit, so that was nice to hear.

Treese - in a way you're luck that your H is avoiding your kids, because I feel like I'm competing for mine. AND it shouldn't be this way! He's the one that wants to be alone, so why do I have to let him "have" them...............I guess I keep hoping that the father/family part of him will win out. He has always been a very good father----unfortunately he is now in the role of Disney Dad, and I fully believe they need both of us.........just not like this.

I'm fighting off the urge to send him an e-mail saying, here I tell you I know about OW, and you just go on like nothing has changed???????????? I want to ask, do you love her?? Do you want to marry her??? I know it's wrong, but ughhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!