Part X: Where Do We Go From Here?

[SirPrizeMe]

Ali and Kalni, this is just what happens. Kids turn into pawns. It's not healthy for anyone, but that's the way it goes.

Like many many other men, RTL's gotta deal with it.

We can only hope that in good time, with a good helping of patience, the feelings will simmer down, and things will return to civility, at least, and the three of them can at least co-exist.

Fighting in court - I'm not so sure that works to settle anyone down. It may make one "Feel better" (vindicated) to win the day in court, it may be cathartic, but does it really *work* to broaden peace in the situation? Not so sure in the grand scheme it is the right thing. It might be legally appropriate, but I'm not sure in the long run it is right to engage in a hot dispute.

She is behaving very very badly toward you - and you know what the best 'revenge' is in these sitches? Go off and be happy. That will show her!

I don't want to sound pompous (it comes naturally, heh), but "Showing her" doesn't feel like the right idea. The point is RTL should be happy for RTL, not to "show her". The website with the home renovation photos - I'm sure NMD is very proud of it and it's well earned. But to have in the back of your head the gleeful thought "I am sure my exW is smacking her head right now as she looks at these photos!" - that's not very big of you. Enjoy the house for you, be proud of the house for you. Not because your exW can't have it.

For my part, regardless what happens, I don't wish ill toward others - not my stbx, nor her boyfriend, nor anyone else who delighted in the scandal or took sides. I regret it all, I am so sorry that it all went down as it did. But I don't wish bad things for any of them. Everyone involved in the drama is human. They all would do better to be built up and nurtured, just as I would. The Golden Rule, and all that.

It helps me not if my x is ticked off. Even if I had no direct regard for her whatsoever, it would be much better for my kids if she were to find true happiness. I wish she could have found it with me, but if not... I still wish her happiness.

I'm human and sometimes I get grumpy, too. But I don't wanna be that way.