I still get depressed and discouraged at times (e.g., when I make the mistake of thinking about upcoming holidays/special events, when my kids are with W and I'm totally alone, when I see OM in car when W picks up/drops off kids, when friends get busy and forget to call or visit...), but I make danged sure to put on that brave face for W, kids, etc. I remember my C's advice to make life with me not appear less appealing than life with OM, so the cheerful act gets tossed in with the clean house, immaculately maintained property to play a part.
By this point, I realize that the "wave" will pass. I find that reading the archived threads help me a lot. So do fun DVDs (MST3K, Anthony Bourdain), uplifting tunes (e.g., the New Radicals' "You Get What You Give"). Prayer helps. As goofy as it may sound, re-reading some of my Fraternity stuff helps (our tradition describes us as knights in the noblest sense).
I hate that my W is with OM, but between my getting a new job, revitalizing my R with my sons, reclaiming my great R with my in-laws, working with a great C, and trying so hard to be peppy and friendly with W while still letting her have her "space" and "time," I've come to the conclusion that I'm doing what I should to this point. Hell, I've even told people that this crisis has resulted in positive changes (which it has), knowing full well that comments like that will get back to W.
This is damned hard. It's draining. But it's right. I believe that in my heart.
Me: 47 Kids: 2 boys, 14 & 8 Bomb: 5/5/08 Married: 16 years, together 20 Divorce final 8/11/10 I remarried, to an amazing woman: 3/17/12... "Once in awhile, in an ordinary life, love gives us a fairy tale"
