If all you EVER got was nothing and you got to be a servant, of course that would be terrible. But if in the end, your efforts give you the marriage you've always dreamed of, it would be worth it, right?
You want to do WHAT WORKS, right. You want to build REAL LOVE ... and part of real love IS FRIENDSHIP. Love and care.
So....how do you BALANCE this .... leaving ROOM for re-attracting him, nourishing a friendship, and yet NOT feeling taken advantage of?
What would be YOUR ideas for this?
I'm not sure exactly where my R is headed with my H. We have been separated since Oct. 2006. We have attetmpted reconcilitation a few times and he gets cold feet. He filed for D June 2007 and dismissed it July 2008.
He will tell me that he isn't seeing OW, but then I find out that he is. I don't think he is seeing her right now outside of work, but I can't be sure.
OW happens to be his secretary (yes, I hate that fact). He has told me before that he wants her to quit on her own. Guilt talking, maybe? She got a divorce.
H does lots of things for me. He helps me with household maintenance and yardwork. We go out on dates. We went out of town for our 22nd anniversary lately. This past weekend we were together all three days.
He gets really warm and then gets cool again. Right now I would say he is back to being lukewarm.
In some aspects I feel like I'm crazy for putting up with his moods, in others I'm glad that he is coming around. Cake eating? I'm not sure... I just know that I want to my marriage to be restored. Am I going about it the right way? Again I don't know, but I do know that we are still in communication and see each other often.
I also believe I am a much stronger person than I was at the beginning of the separation.
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
