Seperated but living together...

[Kiki1011]

Last night was one of the worst nights I have had in a while. And today wasn't too much better. I was so proud of myself because I was staying strong and had so many good days in a row. Now I feel like I am right back where I started. I cried harder than I have in a long time last night.

I couldn't sleep at all last night. I kept dreaming about everything that is going on. I couldn't get H out of my head. Plus it didn't help that there was a terrible storm here last night and I am deathly afraid of storms (I know it's rediculous, something from childhood). It hurt that he wasn't there to hold me or comfort me.

Right now I am just feeling like nothing I do or say is going to make him come around. I want my H back so badly that it kills me. I hate being in the same house with him and only interacting as if we are strangers. Just a few weeks ago this stranger that I am living with now was the man I loved, cofided in, and ml to. What happened?

I honestly don't know how you guys that have been in this situation for more than a few weeks can handle it. You are unbelievably strong. I just don't know if I can take much more of this right now, epecially for the baby's sake. I see my life falling apart right before my eyes. Why do I feel so down today? Why do I feel like I have no hope in the world to save my marriage right now?

Anyway, sorry if today's post is a little depressing I just needed to get it out. Thank you for listening. I welcome any and all advice you may have.

Thanks,
Niki