More random thoughts~ I believe I have come very far. I believe that I am on the right path. But I still stand in my own way. I still try to hard and at the same time just dont try hard enough. I am happy with myself and upset at the same time. Thats me, I am a Woman. And I am pleased and welcome everything that comes with it. I want to be stronger and yet more vulnerable. I want to just feel at ease with my husband. I want to be the real me. I want to not worry about am I doing him right or does he like it like this. Do I look to fat or are my few grey hairs showing. He doesn’t care about any of that . He wants me to be the Woman I am and I have yet to do that. Is the lip gloss the right shade and do these shoes say COME [censored] ME?
CFM~ SHOES?
I want to do more and at the same time I wish I didnt have to. I want to take him away to a desert Island and devour him. Where there are no bills, no dishes, no kids screaming. No teenager telling me I am too old I dont understand. I need to do more on my own to recharge w/o him and w/o the kids. To be just me. I remember and write about it and then I forget. I forget that I am also Human. Not just someones WIFE or someones MOM!
I forget to treat myself and yet when I do I feel guilty. I promised myself now that I remember. My new years resolution. To put me first . I have given to the kids so much and I deserve some me time too. I started out like a lion and have gone out like a lamb.
So I will keep this up and keep posting my thoughts here. Keep going and at the same time stand still and enjoy it.
