BND/ SF /JACK/CINDERELLAMAN need help please!!!

[IRMAT]

I read Charlene Cares daily.. they are a godsend... and the only reason I say he was having lunch with our frineds daughter is because our daughter is visiting him this week... I just feel so used...violated.. by this man that I thought would never do this to me... I am more mad about pawning my car than anything else.. this is really all I have that is mine.. he bought it for me and our daughter.. and I told him what I had to do and he got UPSET... why did I not tell him about me needing money... what does he think I have jobs for fun... I jsut wanted to lash out at him S/F but I did not I talked really nice and I was praying in my mind not ruin what God has done so far... I know he sees a difference in me with my walk with God and I know it is Satan who wants me to lose it on the phone with him... but I am not going to let him destroy what God has done in my husbands heart... he actually talks to me in a very friendly manner...sometimes when he calls and I am crying he says to me " DONT CRY OK" it makes me feel like he still has feelng for me like a husband does for his wife.... I will start to pray .... to compose myself before I something stupid.... I feel so ashamed for being so angry... what must God be thinking?