BND/ SF /JACK/CINDERELLAMAN need help please!!!

[IRMAT]

Right now I am so mad at him.... like I havent been mad at him in a very long time... since I have decided to stand for my marriage, I feel like I am walking on egg shells with him... my faith is strong but those thoughts do come and when they do I feel like cussing him out....
for throwing us out like trash...right now my daughter is with him for 14 days and while I am glad for her to see her daddy. I am furious because right now he is having lunch with his bestfriends 30 something daughter and her daughter...
she is a stay at home mom and of course my hubbie does not work.. has some inheritance from his Mom and Dad's estate... they are having lunch and I just had to pawn my car to complete my rent... have 2 jobs because this is his doing and I am just mad....hurt...wishing I could just get on with my life. I am telling you the devil does attack out thoughts and he is suceeding right now... I just wish i could just tell him off .... what did we do wrong for this to happen????? I have forgiven him in my heart for the affairs and foreverything he has said and done to us .... arrrgghhhhh!!!!!! i just want to shake him and wake him up.... guys I need some prayer partners right now to pray for me before i do anything stupid.. I have come such a long way since all this started him mom died in dec of 06 and I believe it all started happening then. I just want to bust out crying but I cant since I am at work...very teary eyed though can hardly see keyboard... please help me give me something or anything that I need to do as to not ruin everything that god has done so far for me S/F you are so strong in your faith as I am really...... have you ever had bad days... BND / JAck and if you did what did you do ....I just want to call him and tell him off..................