Completely and utterly devastated--how to cope

[istherehope]

Hi,

Not sure if people are still using the goals thread, but I set a few yesterday, and wanted to see if people had any feedback. I tried to make them as actionable as possible:

1) H will show cautious optimism as evidenced by either a specific mention that he wants the M to work OR specifically mentioning longer-term (3+months out) plans; I will help enable this by continuing to think positively about the M while empathizing with his POV
2) H telling me he misses me might be too much to expect in the next 2 weeks--instead I want H to make some reference to my absence from the house and the fact that it's noticed, even if it's just saying that the cats miss me; I will not pursue him at all during this time, and this will give him the space to think about my absence
3) Given that I am leaving in 2 weeks, physical affection might not be a possibility--however even a lingering hug when we say goodbye before I leave for Poland would count for me, as long as he initiates
4) We have a trip planned in just 1 month--a weekend trip for H's bday; he is not currently committing to go, but I am leaving it in his hands--by missing me, and me being low pressure, I want him to decide it is worth going ahead with it
5) I have asked H about a session in Boulder--he has said only let's see--I want, through very low pressure interactions, to get him interested in the idea and agree to give it a try
6)I have been exercising nearly daily for the past 10 days and will continue to do so
7) I will quit focusing so much time on the boards while at work, and will dedicate additional time to catching up on tasks I am behind on
8) When I go to Poland in 2 weeks, I will start language lessons in order to get more immersed in my new locale
9) I will train for either a marathon or another endurance event as it helps me to have a tough goal outside of the R

FYI today at work I set a goal to only look at the boards once per hour. I stuck to this. Maybe I can start making it more like 90 minutes until I get to the point where it's only lunchtime and before/after work. It's becoming an obsession! Also today I bought my tickets to Poland. This was the first step in making my new situation a reality. I really hope H is having mixed feelings about this (beyond needing someone to care for the pets!).

ITH