Hey everybody...I am off work this week, staying at home with my fiance, and haven't been able to get on the boards at all.
Just wanted to pop in and tell you all I am still at least reading your updates once a day.
Ali - I hope you are doing ok. I am actually confused about what is going on with you right now? Maybe I missed a post. Did your H do something mean recently?
Cinco - I read your update, too. The lack of passion is something your wife CAN address...but honey, the only way she is going to find that thrust within herself to make the change is if she realizes you really are going to leave her otherwise. If she gets to that point and really REALLY gets it....THEN she can find the change within herself. And even after the ultimatum convo (if you do go through with it) it will likely still take a few years to get fully on board. But if you continue to make sure she understands that you really will not live like this, then she will get it. You keep getting too "comfortable" and you kid yourself into thinking "oh maybe things are getting better on their own". Please, just forget that thinking and drum it into your own head "she won't have the fuel needed to change without the ultimatum".
It may be good for one ML session, but then it will be bad or lacking again for another several weeks. Do NOT let that one good ML session make you think there will be lasting change.
But in your case Cinco, she loves you sooooo much that I think when you finally do get to that point, she really will be willing to get it, do it, go to counseling, etc.
Lost - Haven't heard from you so not sure what's up lately! Hopefully you are reading and learning more?
NTE - I'm glad you got the nice guy book. I really wish someone had given that one to my ex-h. His nice guy tendancies were something I was never able to address to him, because, what could I say? You are too nice? But the reality of it was, I wanted him to have a backbone. I wanted him to have a strong opinion about something (anything). I wanted him to "put me in my place" when I needed him to. But after so many years of the old nice guy/bossy woman dynamic together, I don't know if we could have turned that around or not. What did you do about the letter, did you decide to wait until she gets back?
Shelby! You have to come give us an update!!
Bagheera - Hope you are home soon.
Silly - Miss you brother, what is new on your end??
ALL - I'll pop back in later hopefully! I am in my newly remodeled backyard taking a good suntan...I am wearing an itsy bitsy bikini and heels, bringing icy drinks out to the patio for my man and myself. We have recently spent several weeks on our backyard project and are now finally in the stages of getting all the last bits and pieces together (decorative rocks, new furniture, etc). Its beautiful back there, and I am loving it!
