Maybe it it can be found on the Charlyne Q&A page. Victoria secrets atire crop up as good things to leave around? Are these the actions of a God fearing woman showing her husband the love and devotion he deserves.
I was not offended but I think maybe you do not realize that people look to you as a "stander" and you are keen to pass on certain websites and newsletters and maintain a complete an utter assurance that God brings WAW spouses home, then with that goes a duty and care to be moderate in your words. Just my opinion and I am certainly not adverse to humour in these situations.
Whilst I can see the humour in this--I often see advice being given for women to use their bodies as a way of getting their h to come back. I find it disturbing. Does it actually solve anything and does it actually help with self esteem problems. I know God helps those who help themselves but I find advice like this very much at odds with the professed belief that God alone will bring the wayward spouse home. Does God actually want you to use such wanton jezabel tatics? I don't think you can have it both ways.
Naej,
Here is what I have learned from my pastor as well as other Christian sources. God made sex. God made sex feel good. Heck, God even gave women an organ, the clitoris, which serves no function other than to give sexual pleasure. God expects us and wants us to have sex during marriage. He expects us to give and receive pleasure from sex within the confines of marriage. Pretty much anything goes as long as it’s between a woman and a man that are married. That includes dressing sexy (in the privacy of your bedroom), or whatever your spouse may like.
People have corrupted sex and made it into something “dirty” and wanton. Society has made a woman’s body into a sexual object to be ogled etc, not God. While I agree that putting a crushed up Viagra into his juice is deceitful (and I’m sure Patti wasn’t SERIOUSLY considering it), I don’t agree that sex within the confines of marriage as a way to connect and strengthen your marriage is resorting to “jezebel tactics.” I don’t think putting on something sexy as a way to “get in the mood” is wrong or that God would look down upon it.
BFM
Last edited by butterflymom; 08/05/0805:33 PM.
There is only one person who could ever make you happy, and that person is you. David Burns, Intimate Connections
ictoria secrets atire crop up as good things to leave around? Are these the actions of a God fearing woman showing her husband the love and devotion he deserves.
If it is FOR YOUR HUSBAND then it is okay.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
Contrary to what some may believe, Christian’s aren’t expected to wear ankle length flannel nightgowns, keep the covers up to their chins and only have sex in the dark when they are trying to get pregnant.
BFM
There is only one person who could ever make you happy, and that person is you. David Burns, Intimate Connections
I find the suggestions that a new 2moro dress up or leave lingerie out as an attempt to seduce her husband to be insensitive. She has clearly stated previously that she has done this and his response was that it did nothing for him and would she please put her flannels back on. This happened to her on two occasions which she has documented on this board. This obviously isn't a tactic that will get the desired results so perhaps it is time to try something different.
~ swl
Look not mournfully into the past. It comes not back again. Wisely improve the present. It is thine. Go forth to meet the shadowy future, without fear. {Henry Wadsworth Longfellow}
I find the suggestions that a new 2moro dress up or leave lingerie out as an attempt to seduce her husband to be insensitive. She has clearly stated previously that she has done this and his response was that it did nothing for him and would she please put her flannels back on. This happened to her on two occasions that she has documented on this board. This obviously isn't a tactic that will get the desired results so perhaps it is time to try something different.
~ swl
swl,
I agree with you for Patti's case, but Naej seemed to be painting all Christians with a very broad "prude" paint brush and making sex and seduction out to be something dirty even within the confines of marriage.
BFM
Last edited by butterflymom; 08/05/0805:47 PM.
There is only one person who could ever make you happy, and that person is you. David Burns, Intimate Connections
Perhaps so but as we all know, everyone sees things differently.
Our focus should be on what can benefit Patti. Sending her down the same road seems like a set up for more of the same. That is my concern for her.
~ swl
Look not mournfully into the past. It comes not back again. Wisely improve the present. It is thine. Go forth to meet the shadowy future, without fear. {Henry Wadsworth Longfellow}
Butterflymom, I totally agree with you. I just don't feel that suggesting these things to people who basically do not have the marriage you speak of is a good thing.
It is also a private and personal thing.
I am certain God would not advocate the use of Viagra either but that is again a personal opinion.God also gave us sex for procreation and with that comes other responsibilities. I can also think of many biblical quotes concerning virtuous woman and their speech.
A marriage also consists of two people and who is society made up of if not people.So who starts the corruption and who does the oggling, who is to blame those who dress in a revealing and flirtatious manner or those who oggle? This could go on and on.
Suffice to say I take your point but still maintain those who preach the word should also be moderate in their speech. Suggesting hiding items of underwear in a car in the hope or knowledge that your husbands OW may find it is far from a private thing within the confines of a loving marriage and it degrades the very thing you maintain to be God given. It is used as a trick/trap. As is the use of viagra given to a man who has no desire for sex with his wife.Should we suggest giving the date rape drug to low sex wives so men can have pleasure?
I am not a prude nor a religious zealot. I believe in moderation in all things and consider myself to be fairly open minded. I think I have said all I wish to on this matter and apologise to Patti for using her thread in which to say it.
Geesh, I hope you were not referring to me when it comes to hiding things.
the point I was trying to make much earlier than today was maybe to wear something nice which is okay, by the way, when you are married.
patti knows me well enough off the board to know i was kidding with regard to viagara.
like i said, it is time to lighten up.
only patti knows what she can and cannot deal with when it comes to her marriage.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
