Time to stop getting frustrated , WITH HIM, MYSELF, and get to work.
Ooh and I am so tired but I can do this. My H mood over his FOO stuff is even dragging me down more. YUCK~
GOALS~
1. Even more physical contact. 2. More smiling on my part. 3. More support on my part. 4. Dressing sexy and feeling sexy. 5.MORE INITIATING AND MORE SEX.... WILL IT EVER BE ENOUGH? 6. Less stressed hubby....
How to accomplish this.....
1.... get in another hug or squeeze whenever I can and really be happy when I am doing it. ( I was/am feeling a bit resentful and selfish that he has what seesm to be no time for me) 2.Back to the bascis of act as if.... so I need to remember he is going thru alot and he is for the most part being nice.... 75% of the time ( how he loves percentages). Be the smile and Happy face that he needs... 3. Be in a good mood .. he has always told me in the past when he was down he needed me to be strong and happy . That it would help him feel better. 4. Dress sexy check* feeling sexy * check/although that is going to take some work. When I feel stressed the first thing to go is me feeling sexy. Put sexy songs on the ipod and boost the Ego some? Bleh.. this one will be work as always. DQ~ hot and feeling sexy wish they coincided better. Just flowed... 5. WILL HAVE TO FIGURE THIS ONE OUT WITH MORE THOUGHT. 6. Time.. and boy lately I am very impatient.
I still feel overwhelmed and upset and mixed feelings towards all this.
.... but I know just sitting contemplating it will get me nowhere.
and now the way he thinks he will just say I am doing it cause I have my period/ or cause he said something....
WOW THIS SEX STARVED MARRIAGE STUFF IS HARD WORK. I am going to keep a journal here of what I am doing to reach these goals.... Confused... frustrated and yet motivated to keep trying. If Brett Favre can do it so can I?~ GOD BLESS.... ~Ali
Day one. This thread will keep me honest and on Goal. I think anyway.... Took the risk. I was also dressed sexy when he came home. He allowed it. He even let go some!!!!!!!!! Takes 21 days to break a habit. CAN I DO THAT 21 DAYS IN A ROW? Most likely. Will he get bored? Dunno, we will see. So on August 26... This thread will be 3 weeks old and I will hopefully have reached my mini goals.
So 1 gold star for me for effort. Performance? Well you all know I am a Movie Star, LMAO~ Hopefully after 28 days he will see it is not an act. ~Ali
( My memory is shot BTW~) ( that is also why it helps me to keep a Journal here )
I did approach him for "Oral" shortly after he arrived. @ 40 minutes. Too soon after work ? I dunno? He shot me down . Said he was sorry, but he was tired.
A while later we had to run errand. Then he took me to grab a bite to eat. HIS IDEA~ And then shortly before bed I made my move.
I like your journaling approach and the 21 days idea. We have really hit a slump and I may copy your idea (imitation is the most sincere form of flattery).
BTW, as a Packer season ticket holder, your Brett Favre reference caught my eye. What were you referring to with it?
CB
Me; 42, W; 43 M; 16 yrs S12, D9
3/13 - "I want to move to XYZ City (four hours away) and it might be without you, not sure" 5/13 - "Not sure I meant that"
I like your journaling approach and the 21 days idea. We have really hit a slump and I may copy your idea (imitation is the most sincere form of flattery).
BTW, as a Packer season ticket holder, your Brett Favre reference caught my eye. What were you referring to with it?
CB
No problem ,, I hope it helps! I live in Wisconsin @ 30 minutes from Green Bay. So we hear @ him every nite. If he can make a comeback when he thought he was done and evrything was kosher. So can I. Thats what I meant. No offense hun. Thats all it meant. I have never been a Packer Backer,, grew up here my whole life and I have the Wisconsin accent and all. I even met him after I divorced my First Hubby... he actually kissed me on the cheek. I even got his Autograph. If only I had known he'd be Famous. I washed the shirt.... my 10 yr old daughter LOOOOOOOOOOOOVES him.
He told me today he needs me to be happier and more supportive like his partner when on the phone. To show more enthusiasm and not sound so dull. OOOH it stung, but I will take it. I am tired lately. So my voice probably sound tired too. OOPS~ If he has said this once he has said it a million times.
Double oops.
~Its just that I am not bubbly playboy bunny by nature. So I will have to work on that for sure. BUBBLY~! I am dressed sexy today too but wearing sexy shoes all day that hurts so... I will wear them when he is around.
So I need to add that to my smile goal it should have read more enthusiatic, smile with my words and actions. I just need to work on being real and genuine. If I try to hard I am going to come off stepford like. And he needs extra support cause of his FOO~
More random thoughts~ I believe I have come very far. I believe that I am on the right path. But I still stand in my own way. I still try to hard and at the same time just dont try hard enough. I am happy with myself and upset at the same time. Thats me, I am a Woman. And I am pleased and welcome everything that comes with it. I want to be stronger and yet more vulnerable. I want to just feel at ease with my husband. I want to be the real me. I want to not worry about am I doing him right or does he like it like this. Do I look to fat or are my few grey hairs showing. He doesn’t care about any of that . He wants me to be the Woman I am and I have yet to do that. Is the lip gloss the right shade and do these shoes say COME [censored] ME?
CFM~ SHOES?
I want to do more and at the same time I wish I didnt have to. I want to take him away to a desert Island and devour him. Where there are no bills, no dishes, no kids screaming. No teenager telling me I am too old I dont understand. I need to do more on my own to recharge w/o him and w/o the kids. To be just me. I remember and write about it and then I forget. I forget that I am also Human. Not just someones WIFE or someones MOM!
I forget to treat myself and yet when I do I feel guilty. I promised myself now that I remember. My new years resolution. To put me first . I have given to the kids so much and I deserve some me time too. I started out like a lion and have gone out like a lamb.
So I will keep this up and keep posting my thoughts here. Keep going and at the same time stand still and enjoy it.
Ok so last nite was no good. I feel so frustrated right now . I feel tired and I feel like telling him off too. And I dont even have my period anymore. So that isnt why my emotions are run amuck. I physically feel like I drank all nite. I did not! And I mentally feel exhausted. I might just try what FIB~ said and just STOP~
Apparently he actually is trying to convince himself I do nothing.
Oh God , now I sound as nuts as he does. I love him dearly but he is over the top.
