I swear..the more I read of your sich the more I think our H's are long lost brothers. Different circumstances but yet alot of personality similarities.
Yes, get an attorney asap! If nothing else but your peace of mind. My baby is only 4 months and I was/am petrified that he will do something like take her. You should have a parenting plan in place anyways and at least in this state they make you set that up as part of the divorce.
Also, write everything down. Write down that conversation. You never know when you may need it.
I admire you and have for awhile. You are so strong and always do what is best for D4.
Hang in there.
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!