Bring on the Rain - Part 4

[SueS]

Good morning-

Well, it ended up being a rough night last night. H called and asked to stop by after work. He came by around 7:30. He hung around and hung around. It was getting late and I was starting to suspect that he was going to ask to stay. Finally, he said...well, can I ask you to make deal with me? He said, if I pay you, will you let me stay here until my friend (guy) and I get our apartment figured out? I told him that I wasn't sure if that was a good idea. I could see his face start to change. I told him that I wanted him to see it from my point of view. I told him......You told me to find an apartment and I did that. Now you want to come back and stay here until you're ready to move on with a life without me? H did not like that. He said, Fine, you made your point. I said, H, do you understand? He didn't. I even offered to pay for a hotel room for the night.

This was the not so fun part......

H: You probably want to get an attorney if you want any support from me at all.
Me: Are you saying that you wouldn't help me financially with your own daughter?
H: I can't afford $*** a month for daycare.
Me: She is your responsibility too. Your daughter.
H: Okay then, maybe I'll take her and try to get full custody.
Me: You would do that to me? You would do that just out of spite?
H: Well, you've known me long enough to know.
Me: You'd fight me over her just to hurt me?
H: Well, she is my daughter too. I stayed home with her for a year. I have just as much reason to have her full time as you do.

Okay, he can use that reason in court all he wants. During that year, I did not sit on my a$$, go out and party or do nothing. I worked. I carried our insurance. I brought in most of the income. I came home every night after work and cared for D4 too. Oh, and this is my H that wanted to keep everything civil.

So, H left. D4 threw a fit and cried, cried, cried. I told her that we both love her very much. Thing is, the way she reacted really tells me that she's a lot more aware of what's going on than we ever imagined. She's seen H leave time and time again and has never reacted like that.

This morning when I was leaving for work, I noticed H's car parked in the lot. As I was pulling away, I saw him lift up his head. I got about 3 blocks away and he called.

H: What, you couldn't even wake me up?
Me: I'm sorry, what do you want from me?
H: Well, I could have used a towel.
Me: If you want, I can get you one.
H: Don't bother.
Me: Do you want my dad to run one down to you?
H: No. Hung up the phone...........

So, that's where I'm at. I think I'll be contacting an attorney asap regarding D4. I cannot lose her. I'm not afraid of losing final custody of her, but I fear him taking her for a visit and not bringing her back or taking her and not letting me see her for a while.

What a damn mess. He had my emotions all goofed up a few days ago...feeling guilt, wondering if I'd fought hard enough for my M....etc. Now he's got me angry and worried about D4.

SueS