Ali - Honestly her drive was never all that high, maybe 3 or 4 times a week at best (back when we were in our 20's). I feel like I fell in love with the wrong person because we are doomed to have this mismatch for duration of our R. I said in a post before that I think she would be perfectly happy to never ML again and live out our lives like two siblings or friends, which I will not do.
I know she doesn't do this to me on purpose but now I know how easy it was for me to slip into scoundrel mode and say, "F**k this I'm not taking this sh*t any more."
I thought things were going so well for us again. I guess not. 5
that is kind of how I feel now. I wont take it to the scoundrel level. I simply shut down. I put a closed sign and never open again. Its f*cking horrible. But hey at least we know our triggers. 5,...then I feel guilty for feeling this way cause he put up with the closed sign being up for so long. I mean we had sex but I was hardly ever really present... ( he was being a scoundrel and my self estemm was lost ) so I have to make up for alot of lost time.
Do you really feel like sex is of no interest or does she need for you to make up for lost time too? I DUNNO JUST THINKING OUT LOUD WITH YOU HERE...
I wish Bagheera was back from Disney so he could put in his opinion.
and most of all I wish there were more posters over here period.
Anyway its Monday~ Could I complain any more? Dont think so! Well possibly... ~Ali
I know you arent going to go scoundrel on me. I must admit the first post I read of yours I was furious cause you sounded like my Hubby and thankfully I wasnt able to post... and then I realized you were human too.
That is what I forget about my hubby too , ...that underneath the Macho exterior he is Human too.
I am still baffled by his reaction to the BJ~ . Maybe I should have gone to Hollywood when I was 18.... I would have been famous! I am one hell of an actress according to him.
LMAO... thru my tears. Take care honey and God bless.. ~Ali
I feel guilty for feeling this way cause he put up with the closed sign being up for so long. I mean we had sex but I was hardly ever really present... ( he was being a scoundrel and my self esteem was lost ) so I have to make up for alot of lost time.
Ali, understand for me the closed sign was up for a long time before I turned into a scoundrel and then with me as a scoundrel the sign was never coming down. We both lost a lot of time.
Originally Posted By: ~Ali
Do you really feel like sex is of no interest or does she need for you to make up for lost time too?
I feel sex is just of no interest to her and I'm making up the lost time part, which for her is me doing chores and more stuff around the house. I don't know which it is.
Also instead of enjoying sex together while we were in our prime, now she is in menopause. I think she just had her last period a couple months ago. Add that to her 1001 excuses not to have sex. Talk about lost time... we will never be young again.
It's so simple to me... ML with the one that you love. Like DQ says, she does not "get it", she just doesn't. ~5
Monday night we ML again. You would think I'd be a good mood right now.... I'm not.
Is it too much to ask to be kissed while ML? It all felt so one sided. How do you reach someone that doesn't want to be reached? For me it actually felt pretty good and for the most part was good, but I could tell she just wasn't present in the moment. It takes so much away from it when she is like that.
Am I just expecting too much? Am I chasing something that will never return in her? You can't tell your wife to be sexier. Isn't that just as bad as commenting on her weight?
I hope we are just experiencing a low point and can get back on track. I am still giving her the good in me, showing her good cheer when I can. I am keeping up the chores that I promised to do for her. I am showering at night so I smell good in bed for her. I always wear my ring now (something I used to not do).
I really need to plan a romantic evening with her or something. I wish she were more receptive to that sort of thing. It's like a joke to her for some reason.
I'm sorry it sounds like I'm grasping at straws here but that is how I'm feeling right now. I'm desperate to turn things around, to make her want to feel sexy again, to make her want me again.
You are right you shoulD be in a good mood but you are not and wont be til the ML has PASSION
THIS BOOK HELPED save MY SEX LIFE. I didnt get it... til this book helped to start to open my eyes.
Two bodies can be united and "pounding" away. Or any position in all the books. Until you feel the connection, the passion ,it is useless. It is just sex. sEX WITH THE BODY AND NOT THE SOUL.
This is why you feel empty.... Please get it. You wont be sorry. ~Ali
Ok Ali I'll get it today. I have it on my list and was going to buy it next. I did like 5 Love Languages and it did help me see how to improve how I show love for her. Now we need to add some passion.
Is this a book that she should read as well or should I just keep it to myself?
I could post every letter I have written to her recently and everyone mentions bringing passion back to our ML. I know it is missing... I want it to return more than anything right now.
I know you arent going to go scoundrel on me.
