losing sunshine but gaining happiness either way

[LosingSunshine]

oh brother we need to talk..I go to over there 2 times a year to surf fish.. Usually from Avon to Ocracoke..It's an awesome place.

This will be the first time I've been to the OBX in over 8 years. W and I never went as her friends lived in Rehobeth so we usually ended up there.

I would always stay in KDH (Dirty Dicks Crabs, yummm!) and just surf fish or go to the bayside to try my luck with the flounder, croaker, crabs etc. When I lived in DC, would always make short trips down to the base of the Patuxent River for fishing and crabbing and even over to the DelMarVA side for the same. Did VA beach a few times with not much luck and hoping that this trip will be fun. First time my dad, brother and I have done something like this since our childhood. Adding the BIL to the mix so he doesn't feel left out.

Now to answer the other question..about letting her have the kids..I have two thoughts,

1. If things have been pretty civil and nice and you are about co-parenting then I think it is alright to work with your W on this issue..Remember if you do this then at some point then I think it is only fair that she work with you.

Things have been pretty civil and the goal is to co-parent. However, as far as I know, she hasn't called her L back about what we talked about last week nor has she put much more thought into it. I told her yesterday that we already had plans and woud let her know this am. I am thinking to say that the plans are still on but she is more then welcome to come over for dinner tonight. Gotta decide this one soon.

2. Use this as a reward for her. In other words if she has been acting up then I think it is perfectly fine to use the agreement you have to the letter and not make exceptions. On the other hand if she is being extremely nice then you could make an exception to reward her for being nice.

She hasn't been acting up which is nice but I don't want to make an exception because this is the first time in the whole sitch (minus almost meltdown Sunday about kids several weeks ago) that she is actually experiencing the reality of the situation she wants. Of course, "I don't want to use the kids as pawns ie. no kids on Wednesday, I want you to feel bad", but at the same time I am not the one that wanted to be in this position nor am I the one that wants this for my family. Oh, the confusion.

Boy I envy you going over to the OBX. I missed my spring trip due to my sitch..hope I can make a fall trip.

Sorry to hear about you missing your trip. It almost happened to me but the W decided to not go and told us to since the rest of the family will be there. Fall is a nice time down there too. I used to head down after labor day to take advantage of the cheaper prices for the rentals. Enjoy the more local scene anyway. I'll definitely post about how it was when I get back on the 26th.

Chris