I have to agree with ACJ, Patti deserves so much more. This is making her so unhappy and is a huge issue for her. Her H is making no attempt whatsoever to rectify this problem. It is just one excuse after another and a string of lies. IMO.

Yes some people can and do live with this set up. It really depends on whether you want a "marriage" in the truest sense of the word or you are content to have a live in companion for the security that you feel that being able to say you are married brings.
Some people can live with 3 people in the marriage, Patti is not one of them. Personally I cannot see him talking to Warren about this nor do I think it would help Patti.
Her husband obviously knows full well what she wants and for some reason is not able to even try to give it to her.
It is a question of how much she is prepared to let go of for the sake of having her husband under the same roof.
Her self respect and her own emotional and physical needs not being met will only lead to more heartache in the long term again IMO.

Patti, only you can decide and we will support you whatever path you take for we are not walking in your shoes.

My children were almost grown and gone when my H had his affair and part of me wanted to accept the companionship of having him home whilst turning a blind eye to OW and the fact he had mentally,emotionally checked out of the marriage. Yes he told me he loved me but words are cheap and his actions did not prove that love.
After much soul searching I knew I could not settle for that, not after what we had shared before. It would have in my mind destroyed me and made a mockery of all the love we had shared plus my children would have questioned all the beliefs we had taught them. Children learn what they live.
It turned my world, my life upside down and inside out, but at the end of the day I did the right thing for me. 8 years on I could have still been living my nice comfy life but as a person I would have been a shell and maybe still waiting for the man I loved with all my soul to love me again with the love we had shared for over 30 years.
We have one life make it the life you deserve it to be.