JMC, what was it my mother used to say? "Too soon old and too late schmart." Sometimes I wish I had a crystal ball that would tell me how things would work out, or a plan to follow. "This is what you're supposed to do." It's just not that easy, is it?
I think I could live with XH again, but I don't think I could trust him with my body or my heart. Gives me the heebie jeebies.
I'm not an expert, but I've been there. And I survived.