I posted earlier that I think you should "automate" the account--direct deposits in from both of you and automatic bill pay for the stuff you share, and the rest in separate accounts--that way you don't have to stress, or depend on him to check on it.
(I think you could always figure out how to keep contact with him in other creative ways that don't worry you as much.)
I would play it like you have a plan for what you want, but ask him first for his suggestions and validate his answers. Be willing to be flexible in your plan for his ideas, and offer yours as suggestions and asks what he thinks.
I think you could be frank that you don't want to stress about this and you really need his help to figure out a compromise. And then let him lead, even if it drags out into multiple meetings about it.
Cause then you have more opportunities to be your cute self around him.
It is in the shelter of each other that people live.--Irish proverb
