(((Lost))) yes it is...thats a good reminder...so i might as well get the most out of it! Im making lists of what i want to do- sometimes i just want to chill and not do anything! thats part of being ok with me and who i am
Pisces M 31 H 32 M 7 yrs S 5/10 Beginning Contact! Vibes Hot Tub Cheese
You continue to just do a great job....you really get this stuff....even starting to get the patience part. When was your last hike with your H? Is it time for one in the next few days? He seems to be very receptive of spending time with you. Have you been makig the "moves" by asking him? or has it been a little of both?
TwinDad Me 39, W 36, M 11 W - MLC, WAW???? 2 Kids B/G 3 YRS Old Start of the Long and Bumpy Road..... On the verge of piecing.....a new beginning
UPDATE! well last night my H texted me to confirm plans for breakfast today..i said if you want to go in the hot tub im here and he came over! we talked about work- something really bad happened to an officer and he is the Sarge so he had to manage it...he opened up a lot...nothing R related..then he grabbed me in the hot tub to come sit on his lap..we hugged...then went inside where we "cuddled" (no nookie)...it was AWESOME! then i said you can stay here as it was 1:15 when he left! he said no...and then stayed on the couch for a bit longer..then said i have to go..i said we will just cuddle- he said yea right. he then said i dont want to stay bc ill be mad and angry..i said at yourself..he said yes..i said ok- be nice to yourself ! he said ok- see you for breakfast in the morning! (why would he be mad and angry?)
so then this morning i met him and we talked about basics...then went on a walk and he asked me how "things" are...thats his way of talking about us..he told me that he has really analyzed us a lot through relationships and sees how much of a good thing we had...he says i was always more "dramatic" so his way must have been the right way and he was done...now he sees how much time we were together and the freedom i "gave" him in the marriage...i said well it sometimes takes getting away to really see what you want...he said his way was the only way...and he didnt see even that i was allowing all this time to do his thing...it still wasnt good enough...wow!
then we went to his apt- i havent been there yet- it did look very nice and he decorated it a bit- how cute...we hugged a lot and i said ok- when are you coming home! ha ha...he said im not sure about that right now ...i said ok i know- where is home anyway?...i said that bc i brought up living too close to my family who are very intense/ aggressive people...i said i know its an issue and we can change that..there is too much ties into them ....i just cant do anything until i know whats going on with us...he said yea....like in agreement...i said i like working for my fam at this point but living too close is too much for us and our M...he totally agrees and i let him know it was ok for us to change all that.
when we were hugging all morning we just squeezed eachother and he and I wouldnt let go...i could see the look in his eyes- some sadness and confusion..but i just let him know it was ok- i love him sooo much!
another point on our walk is that i told him i learned how strong i was and how i can handle way more than i thought...he said you learned how to get out of your cmfort zone and push yourself a bit more- i said yes
soooo OMG! amazing....i am so happy...BUT a little cautious....
what do you think this all means? i know that it is only positive and he wants to come home...but what is stopping him right now?
where we live? my family? big issues..i know
we used to disgagree always about having kids...he is so worried about ewverything and looks t the worst case scenario-- we havet takled about that at all yet- as i dont know what i want. not sure if i want them or not. it toldhim before this that i want him more than i want kids.
so if he comes back- i guess he knows that issue can be handled no matter what we decide....
im actually energized and happy- but not crazy elated and insane...so i think thisis part of my detachmed feelings...i can take all the good and not get too wrappe dup in it all...BUT
I WANT HIM HOME!!!
(((((EVERYONE!))))))))
Pisces M 31 H 32 M 7 yrs S 5/10 Beginning Contact! Vibes Hot Tub Cheese
i also said id rather look at the positives and how we can figure out what works...i fit it in better than it sounds here...but i kept eluding to the present and trying to stay away from the past...
he also said well we still have our issues- i said yep- everyone does...its just how you handle them and get over them...he agreed....i said any married couple will have issues...thats life...i said it all lovingly and really heard him too..
I LOVE HIM-- havent said that to him yet!
Pisces M 31 H 32 M 7 yrs S 5/10 Beginning Contact! Vibes Hot Tub Cheese
Hi pisces, I'm not in touch enough with your sitch to offer an opinion. I just wanted to stop in, try to catch up, & say thanks for always being so nice to me.
I really hope everything works out for you guys. You sound really happy today.
hugs
M 19 years, MC for 8 months, DB'd for 8 months 4 kids; 18, 15, 14, & 10 I was never meant to be a doormat. It took me years of therapy to become assertive enough to stop his abuse.
Pisces....sounds like things are getting better quickly...great job!!! Remember, just be patient, and be the Best Pisces you can be......he's noticed. Keep up the strong front, and things will be great!!!!!!!!
well done!!!
ME:32 WAW:31 D #1: 3.5 D #2: 2 Together: 13 M:6 Bomb Dropped: 2/15/08 Sep legally: 6/18/08
"Tommorrow there'll be sunshine, and all this darkness past..." -Bruce Springsteen Land of Hope and Dreams
i am always going to be the best Pisces i can be its the only way to be... i am sooo happy- but not crazy happy- just normal happy...make sense?
i emailed him a bit ago to tell him thanks for a great night (wink wink) and today...
i also threw out a casual invite to go camping next week for a night- we'll see...im really not worried if he says no...if he's not ready i understand! BUT- it would be great to go camping with him
Pisces M 31 H 32 M 7 yrs S 5/10 Beginning Contact! Vibes Hot Tub Cheese
I'm so right there with you. I love camping, too. I love going for an all-day hike, and then cooking something delicious over the open fire (no matter what--pretty much anything tastes good after hiking all day), drinking a few beers, sitting around a fire talking. It's one of the most real ways human beings can connect, IMHO, cause it harkins back to...wait, how do you spell harkins?!
I think it's the perfect invite...
It is in the shelter of each other that people live.--Irish proverb
I totally agree as well, I had told my W how much I miss camping and that I would love to go before the summer ends, and she said she thought that would be fun too.
Me 27, W26 T-12 M-4 SEP 4/29/08 Holding 250 miles Awaiting Support Current
M 19 years, MC for 8 months, DB'd for 8 months 4 kids; 18, 15, 14, & 10 I was never meant to be a doormat. It took me years of therapy to become assertive enough to stop his abuse.
