Help...I think I did a 180...I hope

[Sophie]

Thank you V...I need to figure out how to receive notification of responses...I didn't know you gave me such good insight.

This 'bomb' began with an OW...there isn't, and hasn't been any relationship with an OW since he moved out. I don't know about a date here and there...but, I do know he doesn't have much money to spend and except for a couple months, he's kept up his share of the bills.

An UPdate...I need a little reassurance or...something...

I, nor the kids, have heard anything from H since D's bday last Wednesday...July 30. The 180 day for me...I just let go...and let them have their own day. I stepped back, took time for myself, and just....let go.

It still feels good to not 'be in charge' so much. It still feels good to look down the road and have such a need to be included in everything...bdays, Thanksgiving etc...

Anyway,...the other 180 that I did was for the first time,....just let the kids go with inlaws for a week to the beach. I LOVE the beach, I have always gone...but, this time...I'm just letting them go. I have so much I need to get done...I don't NEED to be included right now.

H's parents are very upset over what H has done over the last 3 years...but, they try to 'stay out of it'....they have the attitude...'one day at a time'...for many reasons. I don't get some times how they can support both of us, when we are on such opposite pages. But, they still see us as married, and that this is part of the big picture.

Anyway...didn't mean to ramble on that; just some back ground.

Now...the 180 of the day.

H's parents are coming driving 4 hours to pick up the kids on Thurs. They'll spend the night...they always stay at my house, with the kids and me. They'll leave Friday and be gone for a week.

I may go the next weekend, spend a day or two, then bring them back...or...they will bring the kids back. However it works out.

Usually, when they come here, I don't say anything to H. I just treat them as MY guests...H isn't in contact, so I don't say anything. Sometimes, H's parents call him, and take us all out to dinner.

I admit...I have never wanted to be left out! I believed if I was included, H could never end the marriage.

I guess a part of letting go, and feeling 'as if'....I don't have that need to be included all the time, like I did.

I tm'd H a few minutes ago.

Me: I keep forgetting to tell you, your parents are coming Thursday in case you might want to plan dinner w/the kids. I have a ton of work to do.

H: Thank you.

H replied. H usually doesn't reply...especially after 9pm!

Nothing too big...but, baby steps, right? I had to 'document' this...

taking it slow...

I'm afraid I'll get insecure in this letting go process. I have in the past...everyone seems to go on really great without me.

Then...I get angry.

I SO don't want to fall back!

Encouragement??