Hey JWS. I took a minute and went back to catch up with your situation and I thought I'd offer a couple of observations.
My W has felt at various times like she doesn't have anything that is hers alone. The most recent example was when I bought her a nice DSLR camera. I'm a man and it was a new toy and I was enjoying playing with it. She let me know that she wanted it to be her deal.
You made a comment a while back about the possibility of your W switching schools and your analysis of her reaction reminded me of my W. Then, to piggy back on that thought, you mentioned that she had wanted to be a military pilot also. I don't know how it was for her, but, I had that dream for nearly 20 years right up until the end. I was a C-5 MX officer and it was extremely difficult to let that dream die. I wonder if your W blames you for her decision not to pursue a flying career? It seems to me because it's a familiar situation that she could be avoiding the hard part of taking responsibility for her life and realizing that she is where she is entirely because of decisions she made. She blames you for ruining her life to avoid taking the responsibility for where she is in life.
I'm dealing with that one too, and I empathize with you.
I am seeing some movement in a positive direction, but, I fear that at the end if she doesn't grow and change, then I will have to end our M for my own health and that's a scary thought.
