Hi Chris, sorry that it took me so long to get back. More computer problems. But, hopefully it is fixed this time. I will have to catch up on your thread, but to try to answer this question you asked of WAW's and almost WAW's (and I can only do it from my personal POV.....

Quote:
My question is what makes a women choose between looking and reading on how to save the M vs reading on how to find happiness as a woman and move on? I ask this because my WAW / STBX read a lot of feminist and womens Lib type stuff leading up to sitch and not marriage oriented type material. Not that it makes a difference just curiousity on a Saturday night I guess.


In my personal situation, it was the years that were invested into the M. We not only had decades of history together, but had already raised our family and had grandchildren. It would have been devasting to so many of my family members if we had split. Also, I think it had a lot to do with the fact of how I was raised to believe. I was a very young adult during the ealy years of women's lib, and for some of it, I could see their viewpoint, but I guess I was brought up to be rather old fashion when it came to family values, etc. Although I have always considered myself rather independent.......I don't think I would be a very good women't libber...lol. I suppose it depends on which of the two desires or natures is the strongest. Do you want to be happily M and try to save the M you have, or do you think you can be happier single and/or with a different partner. For me, even when I was contacting OM, I never read a book about how to be happier on my own, etc. However, I was reading a lot of "romance novels", which I realize now just fed the need I had and felt was lacking in my MR. Those type books would feed my fantasy where OM was concerned.

So, it really depends on the individual person and the type that she is. I also think it depends if she is head-strong about leaving her M, or if she is in a "limbo" state and doesn't know which way to go (like I was).

Don't know that that answer helps any at all, but that is just mine. Maybe some others will be able to help more.

Sandi

It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!