Hey Kelly Jo It's your male counterpart typing...the guy with the unhealthy attachment to his wife. If I can get better at it, anyone can. Remember my post the other night?? I actually fell asleep before she got home....honestly that may have been the first time in 20 years. I'm not saying I am over it, but it takes time. Hang in there.
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My husband is a score-keeper. He knows everything I've ever done wrong and he can tell you, too. I am on a very long and scary road right now.
My wife and were talking and joking a few weeks ago, and somehow the subject of one of my wrongdoings came up, don't remember which one.
I said "do you remember every bad thing I ever did to you", and she said "yes I do".
They remember the bad and the good. If she were to leave tomorrow, or ask me to leave, what would be freshest in her mind? The old me, or the new me. I strive each day to make some kind of impression in her mind that will stay with her if it were to be the last thing she remembered about me.
You know it may sound silly, but here is the way I look at it. I do other things but this is just an example.
I wake up and leave before her in the morning. Most days, I get up get ready make my coffee and before I leave make her tea for her. Last week we started juicing so I made us juice in the morning. When I leave I always say bye and have a nice day...I love you is still off limits.
Should I never come back through that door, by my, hers or Gods choice, what is the last thing she will remember? Hopefully not something I did 10 years ago, but the cup of tea I made her and the "good bye, have a nice day".
I think slowly but surely the good will over come the bad. Holding a grudge takes a lot of energy, trust me I know because I have always been a grudge holder. That is what got me where I am today.
