Memories keep sneaking in....I still miss him!

[Treese]

Di....I did the same thing for baseball...I loaded the car by myself....the grill....the chairs....the cooler....everything...and my H got here and called me a martyr...are you kidding me....someone had to do it....I wasn't looking for brownie points or just doing it to tick him off...we had to get rolling and H wasn't here...he was coming from OW's house and he was late....

I usually carry it all.......now I just do it out of habit...someone has to be the adult here....

And I have't talked to MIL in a while....worried she can't handle anything else in her life....her other son was on house arrest since about February...he just cut off the ankle lock and ran....we don't know where he is.....

H texted me wanting to know how tryouts went and I explained what happened and told him we prayed about it....never heard from him after that....funny how the word "pray" makes them nervous.....

and son is complaining about his ears again...grrrrrrrrrrrrr....I want to run away.......

I do worry sometimes that my son is learning that its okay to walk out on your family....that its okay to let the one you love cry all the time....but then I have been teaching my son to respect adults and hold doors for girls and be kind....I hope he follows my footsteps....

D16 is quite worried now about the team....unfortunately the coaches know of her committment but it really doesn't matter...we will find out on Wednesday....I told D16 to pray for strength and courage...that God will be right there with her carrying her.....she said, "I know"....all she can do is her best...she's a great kid....

Glam.....really I'm not holding it together very well....I put on a good front....it's tearing me apart inside but I have learned a little from GAL while my son was gone....I felt so free that week...it did feel good.....it's just that seeing my H sends me into another world....I look at him and miss him so much and I want to hug him and tell him IL him but I can't ....Huhhhhhh