You are a real inspiration to have continued on this long waiting for your wife. I think you are doing great by holding off on any serious talks with her. Only she can help herself come out of it and enjoy life.
I noticed your occasional responses to LostPhil and all I can think is that guy cant be reached. I think it is the nature of most people to try to want to help him, but I truely believe he is a lost cause. Here is an interesting clip from the Cool Hand Luke movie that reminds me of Phil...
