Ready to GAL...Drop the Rope...Detach..2...

[ddstartingover]

Well, haven't seen H in 3 days. Exchanged a few kid related TM's and e-mails. Of course no comment, nothing said or written about the letter. It's now 4 days post outing OW.

The kids and I travelled to our hometown, where H and I met in high school. I stayed with our best friends, his best friend from childhood. Since he is an only child he has always considered him his brother, and our kids call him uncle. It was strange being there without H. I'm glad I went though. Now I know I can. I can fit in and be welcomed without him.

H sent a TM when we were on our way home telling me that if S9 wanted to stay with him while D15 and I drive to g-ma's to pick up the dog, he would love to have him. I told him we had plans already. I know it pissed him off, but I'm done giving in to every request. He didn't offer to keep the dog for the weekend, so that added another hour of driving to my weekend.

I did tell him he could pick D15 up from band camp and bring her home today to look at the state of our home remodel. It's really out of control right now. I wish I would have waited..........but it's too late now.

I stopped to see MIL over the weekend. S9 and D11 spent the night with her Saturday. She is very hurt and upset about the way H is treating her. He's an only child, his father died when he was 50, and she's been alone for 21 years. I tried to tell her enough to understand that THIS is not him, and that his actions are not directed at her. I told her he just doesn't care about anyone except himself at this point. I didn't tell her about OW. Didn't think she could handle it. I'm so glad I stopped by and visited with her, because she really needed someone to talk to.

I guess it helps to be validated----to have friends and family recognize that H is some other creature, not himself. But in the end, he's still an alien and I will have to deal with him when he stops by at noon and later when he picks the kids up for the night. It's so hard to look at him and know that even though he looks the same, he's some other person!!!