This is where could suggest Retro now if you wanted to save your marriage. She wouldn't be able to say she did everything if she says "no" to retro. Retrovaille is exactly for marriages like yours where people believe it is hopeless. I think you are past reconciliation or even seeing if you can, but thought I should throw it out there.
As for the kids, looks like you will get full custody, and right now that is the best thing for them.
