Bring on the Rain - Part 4

[SueS]

Hi-

Well, let's see, I think I've talked to H more in the past few days than I've talked to him in a long time.

On Sat., I took my family to the zoo. They wanted to go to the Mall of America later in the day. I ducked out of that. All the fun they were having was just a bit too much for me. H called me and asked about the plans for Sunday. He wanted to know if I was still going to go finish up at storage with him and then take D4 grocery shopping. H asked me to meet him for dinner. Yeah, I did. We just talked about "generic" things. He talked about work. He asked me if I would go look at an apartment with him on Sunday. He wanted my opinion? He had told me a while back that the plans to live with a former co-worker (guy) had fallen through. He admitted that other friends had told him not to because this gentleman (older) wasn't someone they thought H would mix well with as far as living together. Now, all the times that H has talked about this guy, he's always had very nice things to say. The gentleman has been through a difficult divorce and from H's friend's perspective, has gone through a bit of a religious transition. In other words, he's come closer to God. I think that maybe it would be a good thing for H. Maybe H was scared because he doesn't think this guy will look kindly on a married man separated from his family having an A. Oh yeah, and this guy probably knows OW too, as I think they all worked together at one point. I don't know. Anyway, H and this guy have decided that their being roommates will likely happen.

On Sunday, H came over very early. My dad stayed here to help me for a few days in getting everything finished and help with D4. As soon as the rest of my family left, we went up to storage and got everything straightened out there. I went with H over to the apartment he wanted to look at. They told him that they could have him in this week if they get all the paperwork in and approved. The apartment is about 10-15 minutes away from D4 and I. I know I'm not supposed to be caring about OW, but this apartment is further away from her than I expected H to be. I guess where he is in relation to where she lives doesn't really matter. We took D4 shopping last night. Still couldn't get H to talk to her. It was about 10:00 last night and he said.....please just let me crash here tonight.....I'll sleep in D4's room....I have a place to stay the rest of the week and then hopefully I'll be in that apartment within the week. D4 and H were laying on her bed watching a movie. My heart couldn't push out the words NO. I knew my dad wasn't happy about it, but I also know that it's my life. H didn't use his phone at all when he was with us, but I heard it buzz several times. So, I still wasn't able to get away from that for the night.

This morning it was hard to leave. I didn't know what to say to H.

I think I feel about as bad right now as I did in the midst of trying to cope with learning about his A.

I miss the H that was so helpful and giving this weekend. The guy that actually called me Hon all weekend. He used to call me Hon or Honey all the time. It flowed pretty freely this weekend.

Oh, and he told me that he has to take some sort of chemical dependency counseling/testing. He said, it's just to prove that I don't have a problem with alcohol. I shot him a look of..WHAT? He said, what is that look for. I said, H, you know that you're very, very lucky that you've never been caught. I also asked....Do you honestly think that your drinking was never a problem or caused issues for us? He said, I didn't say that.

SueS