JUST USED LRT-WHAT DO I DO NOW???

[brueniap]

"If the LRT works at all....When does it happen and what does it look like???????"

Sanderika,

Here's what it looks like - when it makes no difference to you because you are done. Pure and simple - when you're mind is not on it - that's when you see your answers.

I explain it this way. I found the DB book after I had already done the DB principles naturally. I feel that sometimes we use the book with it's "do this and this and this" and your husband/wife will return. I don't think it was meant to be read that way.

When you naturally fall into the "DB Ways" so to speak, then the answers naturally flow. When you are doing the things to "see" the answer.........well, the answer usually doesn't come...at least NOT the way the book said.

My H did come home. I wasn't really that thrilled that he did and he was a good guy compared to most here who walked out. Frankly I had found me and it meant the world to me. I found a depth in my relationship with God which far surpassed anything I had ever known in my life (tho I had spent a lifetime with my God). My eyes were no longer focused on my husband and what he was doing but on my God and my life and how I could serve others or learning how to be strong since I was alone for the first time in my life (I am 56). I wouldn't trade that for anything in the world. My mind focused on other things - I was done.

LRT is "doneness". You just move on. You close the book. Books can be reopened. It is not a bad thing to close the book. Don't you want this chapter to end?

I hid my DB and DR books. Never want my husband to see them. He'll think I was using tricks to get him back and it's not the case at all. I did the things in the books and then found the books and said "wow, look at that - I did all this without even reading it". I could have written the book myself and then everyone could have bought the book from me.

I guess what I'm saying is that this stuff comes naturally after a while because you change......and with the changes come the answers. It flows and it's wonderful and you feel good and strong. And some people rejoin with their mates and some move on because that's where they are and they are not looking for anything. You just "know".

My H has been home for a year and 3 months now. It's been no picnic but it gets better with each month that goes by. It is quite comfortable now - the first 6 months, quite frankly, sucked. I don't feel that way anymore. Growth continues for both of us. There are frustrating times but there is always growth. But...I didn't do anything to get him back...nothing other than just let it go. I was totally prepared to be done and not look back or look for more answers and changes.

bless you - you'll find your way - you are already on your way.

brue