losing sunshine but gaining happiness either way

[LosingSunshine]

So, the first weekend with W on her own is now over. She moved out Friday, had the kids with her Saturday and was alone last night. Last night was the first night since the sitch began that I actually fell asleep before 11pm. Needless to say, I awoke somewhat refreshed.

Just got back from my monday am with my C. We talked a little about my upbringing (son of a Marine), family life etc. We also talked about reconciliation and how I feel right now, that I am open but primarily due to kids. It's almost as if I am protecting my unconditional love of her from being more open at the moment. Of course, if she was to express interest, I would rejoice and welcome her back with open arms but the fact is...there is so much work to be done if we ever get to that point that it is best no to think about it and just deal with it if it happens.

We also talked about how since she's on her own now, reality will start setting in, slowly and each step from where we are to the signing of the D papers will get harder and harder for her. Each time she drops off or picks up the kids, each meeting with her L, each night the kids are with me, each night the kids are with her. Of course, there is nothing I can do about this. It's just insightful to hear what he says she'll be experiencing. Of course, she might not experience any of that. She may be so hell bent on getting out that she's willing to deal with these consequences. Who knows.

All in all, another good session with the C. He's going to call my parish priest to clue him in. My guess is that my C believes it's heading straight to D, as am I, and giving my priest a heads up for the annullment process. Then again, maybe the priest might reach out to my W? Who knows.

Let's see. So, I slept great last night, had a good weekend and feel no stress or anxiety about what is going on. I started an alternate universe page for me and listened to some good ole tunes over the weekend. This week, it's me and the kids until Thursday and then I don't have them back until Sunday am. My buddy gets back from Sturgis on Wednesday so I'll be meeting up with him on Thursday to hear the stories.

So now, my DBing takes a slight turn due to W not living in the house anymore. Not that I will be chaning my approach much, as she's been gone for the most part prior to moving out but there'll probably be a lot more phone communication due to kids than in the past 1 1/2 months.

T - 13 days until we are at the OBX. I can't wait.

Chris