there are so many variables in different situations.
if you were a controlling prick who belittled the wife, I can't see boundaries working well in that sitch. But I do see them working in many others.
Manning up shouldn't be used to be an abusive tyrant, but at the same time, acting as if while the wife rides the strange dick express isn't going to make you look too attractive either.
also, acting as if during an affair tears huge holes in a mans soul. holes so large that if the wife does come back, they manifest themselves into huge rivers of resentment that erode even more of your soul.
I think it goes back to the "do what works" deal
I was just checking with you on your stand with boundaries.
