JUST USED LRT-WHAT DO I DO NOW???

[Sanderika]

Hi BFM, Barb & Jack_Three_Beans,

I went away for the weekend to think...First, thank you all for your replies.

New news I heard about is - H and his OW fight like cats and dogs because OW is demanding and controlling. H doesn't know what to do with it. BUT it is OW that is constantly breaking up w/ H because he won't conform to controlling. I know H and he is uncontrollable - IMO. H & OW went to our friends wedding 2 weeks ago and OW dressed like a street walker. OW wore a denim mini (I mean mini, barely covering her a$$) skirt and a very revealing tank top. The entire outfit was very inappropriate. They were a spectacle I heard. The bride was disgusted and said so. I guess everyone dressed up for this wedding. I also heard that H is very unhappy with OW. Friends are dropping like flies because no one has respect for him any longer. IT is all very sad. H continues to stay with OW because OW is FUN. I was told H is only interested in having FUN right now. I guess this is a typical MLC guy.

I am ready for something to be over for good. I love my H BUT it is not bringing him home. H told me I am not fun anymore. H has feelings for me but doesn't love me the way a H should love his wife. H says we still have huge connections.
This OW is something I can't live with. I told H I can't be married to someone who would rather F*** another. LRT should not be a game. I am trying to figure out just how fed up I am. I want him home BUT the facts appear to be that H has no intentions of coming home. I feel sorry for H, I have been trying to save him from this evil demon and his actions and choices. BUT, they are his current choices and H is not choosing to take me to our friends wedding (I was not invited). H isn't taking me on a 2 week vacation. H kicked me out of a company we started 25 years ago together and put the BFF of the OW at my desk and then brought in the OW to boot. H doesn't do anything w/ S12 to speak of. H supports us financially and that is basically all the attention we get. H hasn't wanted to be with me sexually since 7/11/08. I know that is not a long time ago BUT then again it is a very long time with OW in the picture. It points to H not wanting me or to be a family with us. I AM NOT PREPARED TO BE DIVORCED but I HAVE TO DO SOMETHING. I HAVE BEEN IN THIS FOR 3 YEARS COME 8/16/08. I HAVE BEEN TO H*LL AND BACK SO MANY TIMES I CAN'T COUNT ANYMORE, and THE PAIN IS STILL SEVERE. HOW MUCH MORE CAN I TAKE AND LIVE WITH. H is EXPECTING ME TO SEE A LAWYER WHILE HE IS GONE.

When I told H I would file while he was gone it was not a game. I was dead serious. I was also very hurt. I am still hurt. I told H I would file because of his actions and choices. I told H it was not what I wanted but that it was apparent that H did not want me or want to be a family any longer. I also told him that I love him very much and always will. I told H that I would always be a friend to him and treat him as such and with respect as well. The only thing I would demand in return was to be treated with respect.

I think that to lose my H would be more like my H losing me!!!!!! My H is not prepared for what he will lose. I feel I have already lost my H and his actions DO speak louder than his words right now. My H needs to have his world shook up.

My friends here say it will wake him up. H will either do a 360 and stop this BS and come home because reality will set in if it's not what he really wants. OR, H will not contest the D and follow thru with that. They say either way I will get the answer to my question.

JACK...You said that the only way the LRT works is when you are really ready to lose your spouse and don't care if you do. Well, I feel I basically told him just that because I told him that I love him but don't need him, I want him but don't need him. I said that I can't be with a H that wants to F*** another any longer that I deserve more respect than that. I told him his actions and choices did not include me or S12 and that I could not live like this any longer.

If the LRT works at all....When does it happen and what does it look like???????

I would be lying if I said I don't want him to come home and I would be lying if I said I still don't have hope that H is so unhappy that he will see where he belongs. BUT when is hope stupid and pointless, I am standing....but for why????

Sanderika