I'm trying, but it was a tough weekend. H did go to OW's test on Friday; the excuse was that he had to go buy new running shoes and stop at his office. Dumb@ss left the receipt out upon his return and it showed he'd bought them at noon that day!! DUH... H did not go to the afterparty, and this led to weekend long exchanges between them about issues/concerns H still has about making that next step in their R... and yet even last night H was talking about options involving constructing a new patio/porch in our backyard...
H has also not said anything to me about letting lease go (he's stayed at home since Thurs night); i'm guessing for the moment he's going to pretend he still has it; lets him go to OW's at night and return predawn just like he was when he had the apt.
I've let myself get sucked right back into the vortex that is their drama...and it was incredibly painful to watch it unfolding this weekend online, and on phone...like watching a movie. I know that there is nothing I can, or should, do to insert myself in it. It hurts so much...and yet I'm finding it nearly impossible to forcibly extract myself from continuing what is basically a form of voyeurism, I guess.
But I must...I had a real low spell last night late and was crying. My S18 must have heard and came in and hugged me very tightly...just told him I was having a tough night and feeling sad.
If I had to lay a wager, it would be that OW will be able to convince H to decide this week to go forward with OW and H will find a real apt soon to move to. That's the mindset I feel I need to adopt at this point, and I pray that then it will be easier for me to detach...
But the fact that he's doing this right now, at a time of upheaval for our family anyway (with S18 leaving for college) makes me want to absolutely rip him apart...
Have any of you done prolonged snooping to monitor the status of a spouse's R with an OP?
