wow a lockout.

[Gman3388]

I just got off the phone with her.
It wasn't pretty. It seems she has given me till the end of this week to move out and says I agreed to this. Say what???
No I didn't agree to 2 weeks!!
She says she is writing up a paper for what I wanted, custody agreement etc. and that she wants me out. I told her I wasn't leaving again just like a told her 3 years ago that I wasn't going to be the one to walk out on her or our kids.
Ive NEVER hit her, NEVER even threatened her in anyway shape or form.She says that I have until the end of the week.
Well at that end she'll find me still standing in our living room trying to pick up the pieces and make a life for us.
I WONT GIVE UP. She knows this too.
I again told her that if she wants it over then she must make all the arrangements for the divorce.
She must be the one who leaves.
For those of you that maybe watching this thread I ask you please to pray for us, and for our kids.
I have a feeling its not going to be easy now.

[Gman3388]

Again another discussion....
Apparently the papers were sent today.
She again wants it over and I'm at my wits end.
Ive looked up the legal custody papers which she must DL we work out and she must sign. I emailed her the link.
I told her that I wanted one simple answer as to why...
Why the death of our marriage? She of course gave me the same old song and dance I loved you but I'm not in love etc.
I rolled my eyes at that one....Ive heard the great cop out before.
I let her have it tonight. not physically but I was tired of fighting,fighting for something she doesn't want anymore.
I wanted to hear it come out of her mouth. she never got to that point because she copped out again.
So it seems this is the 11th hour of my life with my beloved wife. She wants it done so she is taking all the steps.
Time to DB once more.....it may not help the out come but it might soften the blow.

[Gman3388]

I texted her while she was at work to see if she wanted to call the kids to say good night to them. She said yes so I called.
Once the phone got passed around I spoke to her briefly.
Work wasnt going well and she said that she had a migraine going. I extended an olive branch and said that once she got home, if she wanted a bucket of hot water to soak her feet in that I would get it for her. She said she appreciated the thought but it wouldn't be nessissary. I said the offer was open and we hung up.
Just before I went to bed and shortly before she was due home, I set out a bucket of hot hot water in our room for her. Ya I know I probably shouldn't have but I'm not a cold hearted *ick.

[Gman3388]

At my request from a few days ago (stemming out of our "discussion") she went out and got her own cell phone.
I asked her to do that because I was tired of paying for her means of communicating with her EA.
I also wont snoop and have the temptation to look at the phone records.
She is still surprisingly civil to me and even asked my help to load MP3 on her new phone.
Still nothing on the custody papers that I wanted her to fill out.
Last night after work She went to visit an old MF that she used to work with 3 years ago when all this first started. She said she was going for coffee and a shower at his place because she stunk from working in the kitchen all night.
Trying to get a reaction from me? Eh?
I didn't fall for the trap. I kept my tone neutral and light.
What she does is on her now. Its hard to act like you don't care when you want them to think you do a little.

Ive been reading alot in the MLC resources thread for answers and knowledge. it seems she's more of a WAW in MLC.
All the changes are there tats, new clothes, dresses like her Bad friend (which is slutty) have been for 3 years, but she wants it over like RIGHT NOW.
So how do you fight without it looking like your fighting for her?

[Gman3388]

Last night she was off from work. She was friendly, very friendly. Almost like she was during the in between times of the rings off and on period. We cooked out with the kids and we began to kid and poke at each other. No real hugs or anything but it was at least nice to touch her....even though I was getting poked or tickled back. We both sat at her computer to try to get MP3's on it. We later found out that it wasn't available in our area... say it with me folks... D'OH!
At one point W turned to me and said "this is nice, thank you"
I shook my head yes and said thank you to her.
That took me by surprise...

Later out D8 asked me if we could go firefly hunting.
So D8 and I did. We ran around the yard, made wishes upon stars, caught fireflys, and danced as only a daddy and daughter can. I gave piggy back rides to the kids around the house...twice...(yes my back hurts a little today heh ) In the middle of it all my W came out and joined us. Couldn't help but wonder how many more times....

I read to the kids before bed (with her joining us) and we put them down for the night.
We sat down and watched a little TV for a bit (separate couches)
and she was starting to doze. She finally got my and said she was going to bed and thanked me for my help with her phone.
I nodded and said good night.
I'm not sure what last night was all about. I joked and laughed with her and the kids but thoughts of the impending crap kept sneaking in. I tried not to keep it noticeable but .....

[Gman3388]

Today I got home from work we kidded around a little and I even got a hug. She came to me!
Talking to her later at work she said she was invited to a race Saturday night but she couldn't find anyone to work for her.
Now we used to go to races all the time with the kids...I wasn't sure if she was trying to get a rise out of me or what.
Tomorrow should be interesting. The kids are going on a sleep over to there aunts. Now unless she finds someone to work for her, she'll be coming home (maybe?) after work.
No word yet on "final" matters.

[Gman3388]

Journaling....
This weekend was odd....but fun.
After I dropped the kids off at there Aunts house I went home.
About 10pm I get a phone call from the W saying that her sister had screwed her over at work and wouldn't close and "just up and left" (her Mom, sister and W all work at the same place.) So She said that she left Sister a text message motherf****g her up one side and down the other for leaving.She said that sister will most likely be crying to mom about this. Also the night manager threatened to fire her if she didn't stop bad mouthing a regular customer seems to hate this woman with a passion for some reason. She was also upset that she couldn't go to the party that night. I told her that she should go aways. She said no and told me thanks that she just needed someone to vent to.
Why me????

I get a phone call later from the W. She asked me if I was hungry. Surprised I said sure I can eat. So she picked me up and we went to a well known greasy spoon where she read the paper most of the time but our convo was light. Nothing about us but more about her night and the crappy service we were getting.
Later on the drive home, (i drove) she had said that we needed to get the car fixed as over the winter the bumper got a little wrinkled by someone backing into it. I didn't say anything. on our last fight I told her to get the car in her name also or get rid of it. just get it out of my name. She said she would but never mentioned it again. A little later she said that maybe (jokingly?) that maybe someone would hit it again this winter.
I laughed a little but didn't say anything.

We went home. She to bed...me to couch.

Sunday morning we woke up and received a phone call from her Other uncle and aunt. They wanted to take the gang shopping and goof around for the day since they were going to be leaving town soon. She said ok and hung up the phone.
W then suggested that we take the dogs out to the sandbar in ohio. (10 min drive from where we live in PA) again surprised I said sure lets go) So we got our bathing suits and headed out.
We all had a good time. Laughing and joking. Our one dog gets into the water and freezes up but our puppy had a great time.
We got out of the water and W checked her phone...made another few calls. We shared a beach chair while the dogs dried off. It was nice to be that close to her again.

We packed up the dogs and on our way out of that town, we stopped for a bite to eat at the local 50's style roadside restaurant. Afterwards I thanked her for a really nice day and she said thank you to me also. Again on the way home she commented on the beautiful day and had said if we had a boat that we would be out on it.
I agreed.

However I thought even if you wanting a divorce you still want to spend time with me???

We went home, showered up (separately of course) and fell asleep on the couches while watching the rest of the race. We woke up in time just before the kids got home. The rest of the evening we shared in the kids stories and watched TV together. Her phone went off a few times with one being an "old friend from my previous stitch" W says they are just friends and made it a point to tell me that. It seems MF father had died and MF made it down south just in time. She spoke to him outside however briefly. I listened to her tell me about what the father went through etc and told her to give MF my condolences.

Later she went to the bar where she works to get stuff for the kids lunch (it is a restaurant too BTW heh)
She was there the better part of the night but finally did come home. She wasn't drinking but she said that her mom and step dad came in. Words where exchanged and from the way my W described it...it wasn't pleasant.
She came home and my mood was light and cheery. She had a cup of coffee and went to bed. I of course went to couch.

So I'm wondering. Why the niceness? Don't get me wrong I like doing things with her but even when we're out she is still connected to that damn phone.
Yes Id rather be friendly compared to some of the things WAW/MLC do but I'm left wondering how can she want me out one day and treat me to breakfast the next????

[Gman3388]

Any thoughts? Anyone?

[Gman3388]

Journaling...
Odd. Just got a phone call from her. It seems that she is spending some time today with her sister that she was in a fight with. I wonder if she makes these fights out worse than what they are....
Waffles anyone?

[Gman3388]

She is still acting nice to me. Last night I took her car to the store for a late night TP run.... I saw an envelope sticking out of the sun visor. It was from the lawyers that she looked up.
Info pages I guess I didn't take them out. I put the papers back like they were and drove home.
home....
This morning my S10 came out to watch cartoons as he always does.
As I was leaving he asked Are you and Mom getting a divorce?
I said where did you hear that? He said a couple of weeks ago I heard her say "once the divorce is final..." I didn't know what to say. I looked into his little face and it about killed me.
I muttered something that I hope sounded like no and told Id see him later and that I love him.
Do I tell her about what our middle angel asked? Or do I wait for her to drop the big bomb on all of them. She wants this not me.