Thanks. You know last night I decided to be as happy as I could. I bought all the stuff for soft tacos, one of his favorite meals, rented a movie and just kept myself very casual and relaxed. He noticed and commented on the difference withing 24 hours. I said I'm happy because you spent time with me before you went.
He said I spent time with you Saturday. I said yes, but most of that time was spent pushing me away. This morning you didn't push me away and I was able to be relaxed when you left because of that. It was a different type of together.
I'm trying really hard to be happy on my own. This weekend I succeeded in going fishing, cleaning my house which needed it desperately, and started listening to the Keeping Love Alive cd set.
I just got the DR book and I'm going to read and re-read it. I have to ingrain it into my brain. I need to make it second nature, so I don't just react when I'm with him.
(((Poet))) You can catch me on facebook and send me a private email. I'd love to be able to talk to you via cell. I really can use all the help I can get not to fall apart. How this is resolved is going to determine how happy the rest of my life is. I mean, I know I will go on and find things to fill my days. I just think my life will be emptier and much less fulfilling if our M doesn't progress or ends.
Me 45, H 46, S 23, M 26, Together 30, Bomb 6-2-08, S 6-19-08; H left 12-29-08. H home 12-09, Still MLC in 2012! Me- I have my big girl panties on. Bring it.
